National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
need to get back on track...

Mine got long so starting a new thread. Saw my nutritionist and basically she said i am at my last hurrah i can't lose more weight she is concerned with what i have lost and that i hardly ate in the past few weesk and i need to get back on track she wants me to start getting back in 3 meals not concerned with my supplements and snacks as she knows 100% is well a bit a lot to ask when first starting to get back on track.she said my coworkers must have noticed and i have had a few comments even from one of my parents its hard to hear it and hard because i don't see it but, I came home from the appointment and ate lunch so that is a start. She said if i lose more i will end up back in the hospital also my body is weak from 22 years of suffering it can't take what i am doing for long i will not be as clear headed i am already struggling with the fog brain and feeling weak and just exhausted and having low blood pressure when i even went to my allergist i need to see my regular doctor but weather was not good and i did not see my psychiatrist this week due to storm seeing her this coming week. so basically need to get back on track need all the support i can get i am scared...i am back to getting lower which is giving me a bit of a high even though i don't know the exact number...i know i won't gain overnight but scared to start eating again. its hard sometimes and in a proud note have not self harmed in a week. did my journal decided to do all positive emotions so i could think in a more positive way.

hermione3
Having a hard time managed

Having a hard time managed lunch and dinner i know i am not going to be perfect everyday but have to do this to stay out of the hospital i think i am actually at the edge of it...not just words anymore...

hermione3
help...

help...

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Hi Hermione3,

I am so sorry you have been continuing to struggle. Even though it is hard to hear, this may be a sign that it really is getting more severe than you may want to believe. I'm glad you are going to get to see your psychiatrist and doctor soon, and have that support at this time. I can totally understand the fear around eating again- though you should be proud of yourself for eating lunch yesterday! That is definitely a great start. And not having self-harmed in a week. That is wonderful progress for sure :) Is there anything you can think of to motivate you to work through the fear & eat in order to give your body the nutrition it needs? Try to focus on hour by hour, day by day. You got this, my friend & we are all here to support you on your journey. Hang in there <3

-Lovetowrite81

hermione3
Thanks for the support. My

Thanks for the support. My therapist knows it is hard i saw her today but she said i have good stuff in my life i would lose it all. and i know she is right. she told me today in my quasi recovery i was in my weight kept me in a more ednos thing even though i was always really anorexic and diagnosed as that in the first place and well thing is she said now it is more back to an anorexic weight and that somehow made me happy like finally i got the weight back down. and big mistake bought myself a scale today to weigh myself it is what i thought but in my head it is not my worst so its not bad enough but i know its less than it should be. i had to see the number to trust my treatment team that it was low i don't see it. i hate this sometimes. like happy its an anorexic number its sick hope that wasn't triggering to anyone sorry if it is. i am going meal by meal.i ate today though i did 3 meals like i am supposed to.

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Hi Hermione3,

Just wanted to check in with you & see how you've been doing this week? Thinking of you! Continue to take it meal by meal- you are doing the best you can and I am proud of you :)

-Lovetowrite81

hermione3
Thank you for the support i

Thank you for the support i have been doing not my best...saw my psychiatrist she i guess was concerned she contacted my therapist...my therapist told me yesterday i looked pale, gray, gaunt and drawn out which she said is just not good and a clear sign i am not doing well. she told me if i get to the point i need to go to treatment again and lose my job and move back in with my parents she won't see me anymore...i can't handle that at all...i would just give up completely if she didn't see me anymore and i really have a lot to lose that is why i don't get why i can't get it together...i saw a friend i haven't seen in months she didn't even have to ask if i was struggling and i mean i don't see it but its like is it that obvious at this point...i had no idea...i don't know what i am doing anymore. i can't go to treatment i can't lose my therapist, my job everything...

hermione3
I am so scared I can't do

I am so scared I can't do this...I am going to lose it all

hermione3
really losing it so

really losing it so discouraged i need to eat more i can't lose...i see my nutritionist next week i am so nervous and i bought a scale but i want it to go lower...but i have to eat i can't lose my therapist if i did like treatment would be a waste because when i got out i wouldn't have her and she is so important to me and has helped me so much why cant i do better.

lilaclady
Hang in there

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't blame yourself for not being able to "do better". You're doing the best you can, taking it one day at a time; that's all that matters. Well, except for health that matters more. I recommend making a long list of reasons why you want to get better. That helped me when I felt like going back to old habits. You

lilaclady
Hang in there!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't blame yourself for not being able to "do better". You're doing the best you can, taking it one day at a time; that's all that matters. Your mental and physical health are the most important things. I recommend making a long list of reasons why you want to get healthier. That helped me when I felt like going back to old habits. Maybe carry it around with you and have it out when it's time to eat in order to find a way to push through and face that challenge. Another thing that really helped me when I was fully like garbage was to spend time finding positive, helpful quotes and print one out to hang in my room or use it as my screensaver. Also, if you're not already, start writing in a journal. It's a really great way to sift through all the thought flying around in your head so you can figure out what they mean and what to do about them. I hope that gave you something to think about. Please keep us updated on how you're doing. I'm routing for you!!
XOXO