National Eating Disorders Association

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Need encouragement, fear of relapse

I'm currently in recovery for anorexia and over the last week I've gained a few pounds. I'm 20 years old and I'm below the healthy weight for my height, but lately I am extremely afraid of gaining weight again and I binged tonight on a loaf of yoga bread (cranberry and pumpkin seeds). My doctor has me eat a minimum number of calories and even though I ate maybe a bit more than my minimum I still feel guilty which makes me think I am at risk of relapsing.....

Should I feel guilty for binging? I don't know who to talk to because it's 10PM here and no hotlines are available....

That's the voice of your eating disorder

Hi nikaido -

First of all, I'm so proud of you for coming on here and talking about it. That guilt is the voice of your eating disorder desperately trying to hang on, as it knows it's losing the battle. Don't let it win! You are stronger than your eating disorder.

Having these feelings during the recovery phase is extremely common. Having any type of relapse is normal. Recovery is about fighting for your freedom from your eating disorder. Don't let those feelings of fear and guilt override all the positive things you are doing in recovery.

You deserve to enjoy life and all that goes with it, including yoga bread ;). Your eating disorder is fighting harder than ever to hang on - don't let it win. You CAN do this!!!

Thank you so much! That means

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. Whenever I used to binge (which would be maybe once or twice a month) I would end up fasting the next day and I was afraid I would do that this time, but I didn't! I didn't listen to my ED.

Also, just a quick question, while in recovery, is it good to eat protein bars to help get my calorie intake where it needs to be or should I snack on healthier things? Maybe I should talk to my doctor about it, but I wanted to get people's opinions on here too!


I am so amazed by you and PROUD OF YOU!!!! I know it can be hard to turn away from an ED, but I hope you are really proud of yourself for not listening to your ED's false information. Way to go!

As for the protein bars, I do agree your doctor or someone on your treatment team is best to answer that. They generally don't have a reputation for being unhealthy, but I don't know what kind of plans your doctors have you on.

Keep up the good fight!