National Eating Disorders Association

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My parter has an ED and I need help

Hi, I'm new here and could really use some advise.

I have been with my partner for nearly 8 months now and have known about her condition for most of that time. My girlfriend has been asking me to research her condition for a while now and I guess I thought it would either just go away, or it wasn't that big a deal for her to manage on her own. There have been rocky parts of our relationship at what I thought of at the time was just general disagreements between couples. After only reading up over the past few weeks, I realise now that I have been completely insensitive and a lot of our fights could have been avoided for the if I was better informed.

I'm not on here for relationship advise so I'll get to the more relevant matters. My partner has been battling with her ED for nearly 10 years (she's 22 now), has made attempts on her life (before we met) and has a strong dependency on alcohol. She does normally take antidepressant medication , but has recently decided to stop taking her medication as she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. I'm not certain how much she used to purge, but since she's stopped I'm getting a little scared as she is consuming an alarming amount of food and the only thing she's keeping in is the beer.

As I stated earlier we are a little rocky at the moment so we are not communicating with each other very well. She has asked for my help on occasion, but the offer is soon rescinded as soon as her mood changes. I love her to bits and want so badly to help her and at the same time it's killing me as she puts her body though this torment. I'm fairly certain she does want help maybe just not from me. She has no family nearby and it's not something she brings up among her friends. Where do I start?


Hi jamtime,

I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend's struggle with an eating disorder and the negative effect that it is having on you and your relationship. I commend you for reaching out for help!
Like you explained, it is so crucial to understand what eating disorders are all about and how to approach an individual who is in the grips of one. I would encourage you to check the link below for some great resources to guide you along:

Loads of luck with this and best wishes!