National Eating Disorders Association

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Brendas
My husband just started inpatient treatment for bulimia

My husband has been in inpatient treatment for a week. He seems to be doing better than me! I can't seem to understand why i feel so lost. .confused. .worried. ..I'm an emotional wreck! He has been bilimic for over 20 years. I have been with him for 11. He told me his problem shorty after we were in relationship. I am the only one who knows. I fed him. .cleaned up after him. .lied for him. ..made excuses. .the guilt i have is tremendous. We have talked about treatment many times but until now he's never been ready. He knows I'm having a hard time. .i tried to keep it from him but broke down. If i can't get my emotions under control i will sabotage this and i don't want to! It's so hard. We have counselor whom i can talk to. .but no one else knows. .I'm alone in this. ..is it normal to feel like this! !!

Adage
I'm a little confused by your

I'm a little confused by your post. Do you suffer from an eating disorder as well? If not what exactly is causing you stress? I would expect that you would feel some relief because of the fact that your husband is doing well and that you can take a break from worrying. Is it perhaps that worrying and taking care of his ED has become your default and now that you don't have to do that for the time being you experiencing a personal crisis? If that is the case than I would suggest seeing your own personal therapist. I'd also suggest checking out other threads on the forum and reading and posting in them. That might help better connect you with other people who have had similar experiences.

aiclarke14
Hi Brendas,

Hi Brendas,

Have you thought about reaching out to someone close to you who you trust? You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of him. Remember to look after yourself!!! You could also try reaching out to your therapist more and telling them you feel this way, they may have recommendations? Have you thought about seeing if there are any local support groups as well that you could attend?

Sending my best! Remember to take care of you!

ashleyk
Hi Brendas,

Along with the advice from aiclarke14 and Adage, I would just like to add that NEDA has some great resources to help too! One of my favorites is the Parent Toolkit - its not just for parents! This has really good advice on how to support a loved one struggling with an eating disorder: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-toolkit

If you have an eating disorder as well, I agree with Adage that it might be helpful to check out some of the other forums on the site. It sounds like you're trying to be strong for your husband while fighting your own battle, which is very admirable, but I hope you know that you're not alone, and that we're always here for you in whatever way you need! You can always post on the forums or call the NEDA Helpline to talk at 1-800-931-2237 M-Th 9-9EST and F 9-5EST.

Keep us updated!

- ashleyk