National Eating Disorders Association

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My Girlfriend mentions her Bulimia

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost 6 months now, and she has just recently brought up to me that she is bulimic and has been for the past year and a half. I go away to school about 308 miles away from where she stays at home and goes to community college. I met her towards the end of this past summer, and I developed one of the most loving relationships I could ask for through the long distance. Since I am never home, and I only get to spend time with her during holiday breaks, or if she spends a weekend with me at school. I was in complete shock when she mentioned her bulimic problem. But its clear that bulimia is something that young women typically do to make themselves feel happier about their body. She told me she is not, and I am having a hard time taking it in. I really didn't know what to say, and we talked about her problem all day yesterday. I basically concluded with her that I am not going to leave her, because I care for her, but I am so disappointed and disgusted by the fact that she does that. I almost lost respect for her and I kind of look down on her. But I don't want to leave her, I want to help her so badly because she is so pretty and she doesn't let her mind accept her self. I know it is impossible to stop something like this cold turkey, but she keeps telling me there is no way out of it. I just want her to believe that she can find help and that it can get better. I'm so deathly afraid of her experiencing the side effects of this disorder. It is such an awful thing and I don't really know what to do. No girl should be hurting her body to make herself look good. It breaks my heart. I just want her to be true to herself, because I love her, and want her to be happy.

Hi there!!!

Hi Sean!

Thank you so much for posting on NEDA's forums. I hope I can be of some support for you!!

First, I think it is a true display of love when a partner searches and wishes for his/her partner to recover!! Your love for her is truly apparent!!!

I wanted to provide you with some helpful links that you and your girlfriend can read through. They are about how recovery is always possible and how the ED can be removed from our lives!!

I cannot stress enough that with the proper support network in place, recovery is attainable!! Have you considered seeing a couples therapist who specializes in eating disorders? I think that seeing such a therapist would be a great first step in this process. If you are not sure where to find a specialist in your area, the NEDA Helpline can help! All you need to do is call 1-800-931-2237 and someone will be there to assist you!!!!

Having a therapist truly helped me!!

I hope this is a great place for you two to start! Let me know if you have any questions!!

Thank you very much I will

Thank you very much I will most definitely look into it. It is touching and motivational to see some of the stories of hope and how they recover.

Hi SeanCorman,

Hi SeanCorman,

It's so great to hear that you are there for your girlfriend, no matter how far apart you guys are. It also shows how important your relationship must be to her, as she's willing to open up to you and reveal what's actually going on. Stay strong, and show her support and encouragement during this time. If you can get her to see an ED specialist, that would be a good first step towards recovery. Here is a link to find treatment options around her area:

Going though an ED with a loved one can be difficult. You should check out the 'Parent, Family & Friends' Network so you can build a support system for yourself as well.

You guys can get through this together, stay strong!
-sj728, NEDA volunteer