National Eating Disorders Association

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volleyballgirl232
My beginning to recovery

Hello,
I am not sure where to put this so I put this in a few forums.
I have been suffering with an Eating disorder for a while now. I am thinking of getting help but at the same time I do not want to. I have some very supportive friends who have told me they will make sure I get better. They have helped me by supporting me. They do not fully understand eating disorders, I am the first person they care about that went through one. I had them read a few things and they realized they took the wrong approach. They now just will ask me questions that make me feel uncomfortable I want to accept there help but I just do not know how they can help me. I do not want to push them away or lose them as good friends. Any ideas would be great. Thanks in advance

michael26
Hi there!!

Hey!!

Thank you for posting your thoughts and trusting these forums! By the way, I think your post is in a great spot, so no worries!

As one who has recovered from an ED and has supported friends with an ED, I can relate to both you and your friends. I know that your friends care a lot about you, and that you feel the same for them. Have you ever tried to begin the conversation of how their actions make you feel? We know that they are just trying to help, but I think there is a definite distinction between being a supportive friend and being a therapist. Have you considered seeing the school counselor or a therapist? I think letting your friends know that you appreciate their support and that you are seeing a professional, would both help you and your friends.

I definitely do not think it is pushing your friends away to let them know that their questions are making you uncomfortable. Maybe you could try saying that you sincerely love their support but you feel that you need support more in the intangible ways (like emotionally or just wanting to be with friends, etc)?

If you are not sure where to find a therapist, the NEDA Helpline can help! All you have to do is call 1-800-931-2237.

I hope your doing well! Please let me know if you need help or have questions!

haleyan31
Hey!

I think it is so great that you are reaching out for help. It may seem like a small step to some people but this is huge and I just really wanted to commend you on the strength for doing it. As far as the situation with your friends, I understand both their and your perspective.

As far as your friends, they are really worried about you. They don't want to say the wrong thing or do anything to make matters worse so they ask these questions in hopes that it will help. They may remember you before the ED took control of your life and really miss the person you used to be.

As far as what you should do, I think you should continue to do what you're doing. It's great that you don't want to push your friends away and it's totally understandable not being comfortable talking about certain things. Next time they bring up a question like this, you can say something along the lines of, "I'm working on making myself better and talking about (insert subject here) makes me feel uncomfortable. Once I come to terms with it myself and need an ear to listen, I will definitely need your support." That may sound totally cheesy but something along those lines.

As it was mentioned before, there's the NEDA hotline. There is also the NEDA chat where you can message trained volunteers. Of course, there is always this forum where we will be here supporting you and cheering you on.

If your friends would like a place to go when they have questions, NEDA has some great resources.

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-family-friends-network

That link includes the information about NEDA Navigators which I think could really help. The Navigators are trained and you search for one in your area to connect to and they are there to listen, tell them about their personal story, and provide support.

I am so glad that you are making this journey to recovery and I just wanted to let you know that you are so much stronger than you would ever think! Stay strong and know that you are worth this recovery :)

Haley