National Eating Disorders Association

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Long time illness

Hello -
I am an elder sibling of a 31 year old female with an eating disorder. For pretty much all of her life starting around the age of eight years old, she has been "out of control" and doing things that are bad for her health. She will admit that she has an addiction to addiction. It used to be drugs, then alcohol, and now it is the eating disorder. She has zero energy, always feels sick, takes laxatives, cannot take care of her children (ages eight and 13) properly, and cannot think properly at times.
She has always been manipulative and a liar, so communicating with her is usually next to impossible. Luckily, she lives in the same town as I do, so I can help out a bit when I can, but I'm uncertain of how to help. She agrees that she needs help, but doesn't actually do anything about it. She says there's nobody in the area that will take her insurance (government aid.) I have found a few outpatient places nearby, but the closest inpatient place is a couple of hours away and I know that she will use the distance as an excuse to not go.
I fear not only for her life, but for how this is affecting her children as well. Not only do they see their mom basically wasting away, but they also do not get much socialization outside of school, nor do they learn how to live in a healthy manner.

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I just want to start off by

I just want to start off by giving you praise for going out of your way to help a sibling in need.
It sounds like you really care about her and I respect that.
How do you get along with her children by the way? I imagine that you have a pretty good report with them considering what you've said here.

Is there anyone else in her life that might be able to help?
Another family member, a parent, the children's father?

Here's a few links that I found around the NEDA website that I hope might help a bit: (general info about EDs)

Keep us updated

- Adage

Thank you

Thank you for your assistance.
I do really care, but I'm not sure that she understands how much anybody cares. I feel like she thinks that if we really cared, we would take her in our homes and basically take care of her like a child. Unfortunately, due to how she acts and treats others, that's just not an option. My parents had her and her children in her home a few times and it was a disaster.
I get along wonderfully with the children - we have always been close. Our mother and father are in the picture for help. They have always helped her - or at least tried - ever since she was little. She was in many different treatment facilities during her youth which obviously didn't do the trick. The fathers of the children are either not in the picture or an addict of some sort themselves.
Honestly, she and I get along much better now with the ED than we did with the alcohol and drug addictions. It's just that I have no idea how to get her the help that she so desperately needs to continue to function and take care of her children.

Thanks again for your input.


Hi Sickofsick,

I have been following this thread and just wanted to check in & see how your sister has been doing? And also how you have been handling it all?

Keep us posted <3 Thinking of you.


How is she now?

How is she now?

It's so familiar to me. "She

It's so familiar to me. "She has always been manipulative and a liar, so communicating with her is usually next to impossible." The main thing you should understand - you can't help the person who doesn't want it. I paid for my brother's rehab treatment, so he got the opportunity to start a new life. But after 5 years, he began to drink again, motivating it with the dullness of life. He treated any phycologist as an enemy. Eventually, he went to drug and passed 2 months ago due to overdose. I don't know what to recommend you - but the elder the person - the fewer chances to make them think.

Hi Dinajafer!

Hi Dinajafer! We are sorry to hear about your brother, but it's great that you are willing to offer your experience and support for others. We did have to slightly edit you post to remove links, which violates out community guidelines. You can view them here, Keep posting! 

That's really interesting!

That's really interesting!