National Eating Disorders Association

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letting go a bit

OK for all of us parents every step is new, we have never been here before and dealt with these issues, so my question to you all is how do we as parents let go of the hoovering asking them all the questions about eating like when did you eat what did you eat things like that. I know my daughter understands why but she does really like it. Just over a year ago we found out she was engaging in disordered behaviors for 9 months and admitted s to a facility for 3 weeks. She is doing so much better, she is down to once a week with her counselor and sees her psychiatrist 2 times a year. she is on medication and she just got back from a 2 week missions trip to Guatemala her 3rd trip. She shared her testimony to all the team of about 20 people of EVERYTHING she has been through
I just need advice on letting go a bit on asking her. I will not let my guard down at all but she does not need to know that, I will remain diligent in watching her, but how do we know as parents to stop asking about and try to be "normal" if there is such a thing. Need someone who has already walked or is walking this path. One thing I do know for a fact is God will use this for His glory I see that already. thanks for the help. If any of you want to talk I am here for any parent and I can share this walk with you and give you hope, because I have seen miracles so many time this past year. I even lost my job of 24 years just after we admitted her for 3 wks.

Hi gwilson, thanks so much

Hi gwilson, thanks so much for sharing. Although I don't have a child with an eating disorder - I was the child with parents in your current position, so I can definitely empathize from a different point of view. I am so happy to hear how supportive you are and will always encourage you to keep supporting her no matter how hard it gets. I remember when my parents acted as "the food police". I didn't like it, but looking back, understood it was their way of showing their love and concern. I know that it can be hard for you to let go and trust your daughter to eat the appropriate amounts during recovery, especially knowing that the ED behaviors can be so manipulative. Have you talked to her about this at all? Perhaps if you came up with a plan together - one that let's her have some autonomy (for instance eating one snack on her own), but provides you enough supervision. A great resource I wanted to share with you is the Parent Tool Kit. It has great information about how to support a loved one with an eating disorder and may be just what you need! You can find more information here:
Another tool are the NEDA Navigators and information can be found here:
I hope these provide you with support. Thanks for sharing your story!

thanks for the info.

thanks for the info.