National Eating Disorders Association

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Just wondering

Does anyone have days where you don't want to get better but there are times you want to get better? The only two reasons I want to get better for is my 2 year old son. And that the eating disorder causes so much anxiety. It's a constant am I going to eat, what am I going to eat, am I going to purge or not. It's a constant thing that goes around and around my head. But then there is the fear of gaining weight and the fear of losing control. It's the fear of gaining weight and losing control that is holding me back from going full force through this recovery. I'm sorry I'm rambling on. Sometimes it is nice just to get it out. I hope I haven't waisted anyone's time or space on the forum.

You are certainly not wasting

You are certainly not wasting my time. This is what the forums are here for. :-)

I think it's completely normal to feel conflicted about the recovery process - and to have good and bad days. I know recovery's hard, so hard. But recovery is possible and it is worthwhile, and you can do it, even though there might be some ups and downs. You've found a great source of support here on the forums, as well - I hope you keep posting!

Stay strong!


I definitely know what you mean, with feeling amped with recovery motivation one day and then totally feeling opposite the next. That's happened to me more times than I can count, for sure.

But you know what's really great? You already know the types of things that are holding you back from going full force in recovery. Keep those in mind: write about them, discuss them with your therapist, face them and conquer them as you are able to.

So please don't apologize for wasting anyone's time on here! This post was valuable, and I actually enjoyed reading it. I think a lot of us on here can relate to it, and some people are unsure of what's holding them back from recovery, so maybe you helped them out a bit with your revelation.

Thank you for posting, and keep us updated. :)
Anna Naomi

Melissaah your post sounds

Melissaah your post sounds like I could've written it myself! Except im probably a lot older and have 3 kids................. I feel exactly the same way!


You might not be that much older than me. Im 29. And I have a two year old son as well.

im 44...not your typical age

im 44...not your typical age for this......................... sounds like we have similar stories though.............................


Ya we do have a few things in common.

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