National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi!!))))) I am so happy for you that you found a kitty that needs you as much as you love him. That is so special. How are you doing? I have problems with my memory so I am not sure if you are really struggling now.. I think you are. So I will continue to pray for you. And since my memory is poor I do not know if I have asked you about faith and if you believe in Jesus. I know that without Him I would not be alive. I once swallowed an object while purging. I was rushed to the ER by ambulance. That right there could have killed me. Add to that the accidents I have been in. And serious muscle wasting. I have put my body through the ringer and am here to tell about it. I am thankful that I didn't die and my user name states that, iwanttolive. I didn't want to for most of my life. I still don't realize how ill I was even though my Mom tells me. I was told if I didn't go into residential my chances of survival were very low.

So I want to encourage you to think about faith in Jesus. Also to know that recovery is for sure difficult but so real. I am able to eat anything I like, without fear. That was so terrifying while in the disorder. I couldn't eat others food or drilled my mother about what was for dinner before I stated breakfast. Now I don't have to know every ingredient, or be afraid to eat foods others have prepared and it is so freeing. Also if you have a scale, to which I was enslaved to, once I smashed it for good, I feel a lot of freedom.

So after that abundant information and questions, I hope you are doing okay. You are very special. You are worth fighting for. Keep it up. Don't believe the lies the eating disorder whispers into you ear. Talk back to it and replace it with Truth. Things you believe about yourself. That are positive to help combat the negative.

Take care, and sleep well.
iwanttolive

julesthefox
Thank you so much. I don't

Thank you so much. I don't even know what to say. Your kind words and support mean the world to me. I am indeed struggling, and I had a rough week, but my cat has been helping a lot. She comes around with me sometimes and always begs to play or cuddle. It's so meaningful to have someone that loves you and relies on you like that. I love her so much. She has even helped me fight against the voices of ED and fighting off urges to self harm. When it's extra strong or I'm upset, it's almost as if she knows. She chooses those moments to need me even more. She gives her love to me, and I do my best for her. Guess she's just another reason to keep on trying.
I do believe in God, though in a bit of a different way.
It's interesting the amazing things our bodies can go through at yet remain fighting for us. I try to think about that; my body's fighting for me, I should at least try to meet it halfway. For some reason, that's a lot easier said than done. But the idea helps. I've been in rough places myself, but sometimes I feel like the most influential people do. It seems to give a person a higher understanding of people and life in general; a higher wisdom and sense of empathy. I feel like I can be there for people in ways I never could have before I went through so much. I think the same is true for you; part of the reason you're so inspirational is because of all you fought through. I think your journey is truly amazing, and it brings me joy to see you so strong. You are amazing, and you give me and many others hope.
I am doing my best. I hope you are doing well. I am so proud of and happy for you for resisting the urges driven by stress and instead standing up to ED and putting it in its place. You're so much more, and you show that every day. One important thing is that by doing this, instead of needlessly punishing yourself, you figured out the true reasons for the stress in order to increase your understanding. How amazing is that? You have grown so much and continue to get stronger every day. One day, maybe I can be as strong as you too.
Take care. Thank you again for all your care and support. It really means the world to me. I hope your procedure for your back goes well. Keep us updated on how you're doing!
Love always,
Julesthefox

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. iwanttolive here. Just checking in to see how you are doing. Is your kitty still giving you lots of love and attention. You are right in saying our bodies try their best to regulate itself. But it can only do so much. It is up to us to nurture, feed and hydrate our bodies.
Just hoping you are okay and to let you know I think of you and your voice here is important.

iwanttolive

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi there, just scrolling through, wondering how things are going. Are you nurturing yourself? I hope so. We are here for you. Let us know how you are? I wish you a good nights sleep.
iwanttolive

julesthefox
Thank you

Thanks for all your care and support. I am doing my best. School and stress definitely make it difficult, but I'm hanging in there. I had an exam today. Glad it's over I guess. I'm just cuddling with my kitten now. She is so good.
How are you doing? It seems like you have a lot of things going on right now. Try to remember how much you matter and allow yourself some time to rest. I hope things go well with your father and your job. I am so happy to hear that driving is getting better! Hold on to those happy moments. You can do this. Every day you're getting stronger.
Take care,
Julesthefox

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. Thank you for your support. My dad is doing great. NO cancer, thank you Jesus. My driving examination went perfect, as I knew it would. One and a half of testing in an office and one hour on the road in the rain as it was getting dusk. But I did great and drove by myself for the first time in over four months. It was great.

I am struggling though. All these months of built up stress kinda got the best of me. But I will be alright. Thank you for asking. How do you think you did on the test? Where are you in school? I hated school. It was torture. Missed so much being ill they basically graduated me uneducated. I turned 50 this week and am having a very difficult time with that. But reaching out here on the forums helps me, and I hope I am helping others. So take care, cuddle your kitty for me and sweet dreams.
iwanttolive

julesthefox
I'm so happy to hear about to

I'm so happy to hear about to good news for your dad and your family! I'm glad it turned out okay. And congratulations again on your driving test! That has to be a great load off your mind. I'm glad it went so well!
I have no idea how the test went. It seems like I never know with this class. It's not really the area I excel in, so it always seems to be touch and go. I hope it went okay. I need a good grade in order to continue to pursue my passion.
I understand how that feels. I've missed some school myself due to ED. It's so frustrating when it takes over like that. But if it weren't for all the help and support I've gotten over the years, I would definitely not be here now. Also, my college offers certain benefits for people with disabilities (physical and mental) that I now receive to help me further prevent relapse. It mostly combats my anxieties, so it helps a lot.
Thanks again for checking in. Glad to hear the good news! I know you can build yourself back up stronger than ever before. Sometimes stress does get the better of us, but that's not the end and it's not who we are. You are so much more. And you are worth it.
Do something kind for yourself today; you deserve it.
Julesthefox