National Eating Disorders Association

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mameegan
jealousy

Hi! Have any of you ever been jealous of someone else's eating/workout habits? i am so terribly envious of my husbands. as i have said in a few other posts. he def obsesses about eating ok and making sure he works out, but he never develops really unhealthy behaviors. i know everyones body and mind are diff, but its so hard for me to separate myself. i have seen envy from him when i have lost weight and he has been heavier than he'd like, but he never acts on it in an unhealthy way, yet i do. i know this is something i need to face and just focus on myself and not let it push my buttons!!! so much easier said than done!

LegacyofLove
jealousy

Hi Mameegan,

I know it can be tempting to compare ourselves to others, even in eating/workout habits. However, one thing I've learned through my recovery, that has helped myself, if I start to fall back into "old" habits, is to try and not compare because we are each beautifully and uniquely different, for a reason. Plus, comparison is the thief of joy! I know it's easier said than done. However, practice does make it (not perfect), but easier.

I can only imagine how challenging it must be though, when you're husband (as you indicate) is obsessed about eating/workout habits, and doesn't seems to struggle with unhealthy behaviors. However, you have to remind yourself that an eating disorder is NOT a choice. It's a neurobiological illness. So, 50-70% contributing factors is genetics, and 30-50% is societal influences. Think of it as, Genetics loads the gun, and society pulls the trigger. So, you are already predisposed to the eating disorder, where your husband probably is not. Big difference! I hope this provides you with some additional insight so you can give yourself some slack.

It sounds like your husband might be able to help you further by you perhaps sharing with him that when he has been envious of you when you've lost weight, you've realized is actually a trigger for you. I imagine with you helping him gain this additional insight, he can help by being more cognizant of the language he uses, and focus on wellness rather than weight for you and himself.

Here are a few links I hope you both will probably find insightful and helpful:

Factors that may contribute to eating disorders: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/factors-may-contribute-eating-dis...
Family/friends info:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/family-and-friends

Thanks for sharing!

HEALing Hugs,
Legacy of Love