National Eating Disorders Association

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It's time

Hey y'all...
I have been known as the health nut and exercise queen but I secretly suffer with binge eating disorder as well as having urges to try to make myself throw up. I have never told anyone about this problem but I know it's time to find help. I am in constant fear of being 'fat' and it has began to consume my life. I am young and should be confident and happy wearing a bikini and hanging out but I am so self cautious that I make excuses for why I don't want to go to the pool or beach and would rather stay home (where I can binge) I am supposed to be a role model and have been told i am but every time I look In the mirror all I see is disgust and guilt. I have a very strong relationship with God and know that he is with me through this struggle. It's time to reach out. I can no longer lie to myself telling myself I can do this on my own. I need help. I need support. I can do this... One day at a time. Please help me overcome this struggle. No one should have to encounter this trial on there own... Not even the people who the world think are the strongest.

You're Not Alone!

You are not alone in this struggle! Reaching out for help is an amazing first step and shows that you have the strength and willpower to overcome this with support. I'm so glad you finally opened up and admitted not only to yourself but to us here on this forum that you have been struggling. Finding and reaching out for help and support can be scary but you've already shown you are ready and willing to do so. Now that you have openly admitted it to us here on the forum, reaching out to friends and family that are much closer to you and know you better might be a good way to gain stronger supports that constantly surround you. I know opening up to friends and family may be scarier and much harder but as a role model to others you already have so much strength and courage that others clearly look up to, but borrowing strength and using support from others in no way diminishes your own strength and only builds on it. Here is a link to a helpful handout that can guide you in opening up to others:

Trying to overcome an eating disorder alone is nearly impossible. Some sort of treatment from a medical professional that specializes in eating disorders like a psychologist, psychiatrist or nutritionist is recommended but the course of treatment is different for everyone. You can learn more about treatment here:

You can also use the NEDA Helpline as a resource and possible source of support. The volunteers on the Helpline are always willing to give help and support and can discuss with you ways to open up to others or perhaps to find treatment options in your area if you are ready ( 1-800-931-2237 MWF 9-5, TuTh 9-8EST).

Looks can be deceiving, you mentioned that you are known to be the exercise queen and health nut yet struggle with BED. This is true a lot of eating disorders, what is going on on the outside is very different from what is happening on the inside. I hope you don't let how others perceive you prevent you from reaching out further for help, do you think you'd be able to open up to friends and family and maybe even a health care professional?

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.