National Eating Disorders Association

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GlennW
Intro. Son 32 Has Developed Eating Disorder

Hi,

Our son started losing weight about a year ago, and was not able to stop when he reached a reasonable weight. He is underweight. We have been to the hospital with him 3 times. Last time via ambulance after he passed out . We live in Canada, and services are hard to come by. He is on the waiting list for inpatient, but 2 month wait! Our job now is to keep him alive so he can make it to the program. It's only been about 6 weeks that we have been actively battling this issue, but we are already worn out and stressed. He is now consuming a certain amount of calories daily, and we hope that his weight is a least stabilizing. It has been a real battle. At the peak of his issue he was exercising several hours daily and consuming a small amount of calories. Hope to learn and share on this forum.

After supper he typically goes through a depressed period for about an hour or so. I wondered if others see this type of thing?

_admin_moderator
Edit

Hello GlennW.
Welcome to the forums.
Your post has been edited to adhere to the community guidelines.
Users may not post specific location, specific weight, nor specific calorie numbers.
Please consult the community guidelines in order to familiarize yourself with what may be posted to as to avoid the possibility of triggering other users:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/community-guidelines

Thank you and please continue posting.

GlennW
Sorry

Sorry about that. Thought I was vague enough on location, and did not think about the calorie thing.

2Joy2love
Welcome GlennW

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can tell that you love him very much. I remember when our goal for the day was to keep our daughter alive. It was so heart wrenching, exhausting and stressful. I hope that he can get into a program soon and that he can get healthier. My daughter was hospitalized for 2 months and it was a real turning point for her and us. We all learned a lot of skills and also learned a lot about ED and how it works and how it affects our loved ones.
I was told to take care of myself, to find someone to talk to, that counseling would be good, to find time for myself. I am sorry to say that I did not listen to this advice for months. I felt like I did not have the time or energy to do that. When I stated counseling and doing small things for myself, it made a huge difference for myself, my family as a whole and for my daughter with ED. Please take care of yourself.
2joy2love

GlennW
Thanks

Thanks for the kind words. We are trying to also take care of ourselves, but it is hard. Today we are taking some time together. Counselling may be important for us. We are hoping for the same outcome once he gets in.

2Joy2love
Welcome GlennW

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can tell that you love him very much. I remember when our goal for the day was to keep our daughter alive. It was so heart wrenching, exhausting and stressful. I hope that he can get into a program soon and that he can get healthier. My daughter was hospitalized for 2 months and it was a real turning point for her and us. We all learned a lot of skills and also learned a lot about ED and how it works and how it affects our loved ones.
I was told to take care of myself, to find someone to talk to, that counseling would be good, to find time for myself. I am sorry to say that I did not listen to this advice for months. I felt like I did not have the time or energy to do that. When I stated counseling and doing small things for myself, it made a huge difference for myself, my family as a whole and for my daughter with ED. Please take care of yourself.
2joy2love

GlennW
Son going Into Inpatient Program Tomorrow!

Our son got the call this morning. Someone dropped out, so he starts tomorrow. He is open to change and ready to try so we are cautiously hopeful. Thanks for the kind words. We were just struggling to keep him alive with him at home. I can't imagine trying to deal with a son or daughter who is completely uncooperative. Thanks for the support.

lovetowrite81
Hi GlennW!

Hi GlennW!

I am so glad to hear that your son will be entering inpatient tomorrow :) That is such a positive step forward, especially if his attitude is one that is ready to recover.

Please keep posting & letting us know how your son is doing! I will be praying for you and your family as he begins the program.

-Lovetowrite81

GlennW
Update

Thanks for the support and encouragement. Two days in and he is doing well. Eating things I could never convince him to eat. I know that there will be challenges ahead, but am encouraged. During the time between diagnosis and getting into treatment, we had to supervise 24/7. I became hyper vigilant. I am having trouble standing down from that mode. Hopefully in a few days I will be able to relax a little.

2Joy2love
GlennW

I am so glad to hear that your son got into the program. I know you have been so stressed trying to keep him alive at home. I wish your son and your family the best.
When my daughter was in treatment they had family weeks where you would go to the Center and they had classes for family members. My husband and I went to these and it helped tremendously. They taught us more about ED and also skills to help. We also participated in some of the counseling sessions my daughter had with her councilor, which was very hard at times and very helpful.
2joy2love

GlennW
Thanks

I think they have some family sessions as well and they have a full day session for parents. Trying so hard to understand and do the right thing. I felt so stressed because the stakes were so high. Now we have a chance to recover and regroup for the next phase in a few months. He has about 2 months in and 2 months day treatment where he will eat alll his meals there. Since the hospital is about 1 hour away, I am looking to sub lease an apartment to use during that period. I can go to work, and he can go to treatment. One step at a time here. All the best with your daughter!

GlennW
Update on our Son

Our son has completed 6 weeks of inpatient treatment, and he has been a model patient. We are hopeful that his recovery will be a lasting one. He goes into day patient after next week for 8-10 weeks then a month of transition. It is a long process, but I really believe most people with this issue need a long treatment plan to be successful. The ward is small, with only 4 inpatient beds, and around 12 day patients.

lovetowrite81
GlennW

GlennW,

YAY- how exciting! This makes my day :) I am hopeful as well that your son will continue to maintain recovery. Thanks so much for sharing this news with us. Keep us posted!

-Lovetowrite81

GlennW
Thanks for the support. He

Thanks for the support. He is out with us on a weekend pass and doing well. Eating to his plan with no behaviour issues. There are still times where his moods drops, but not as severe as before. I expect as he gets closer to his goal weight that even that will resolve itself.

2Joy2love
Great news

GlennW,
I am so glad to hear that he is doing well. That is great that they have a day program that he can do after residential care. Not all places have that. We were lucky to get my daughter in one. I know this helped my daughter immensely.
How are you doing?
Take care of yourself.
2joy2love