National Eating Disorders Association

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New here so I apologize ahead of time if I am too wordy. My daughter is currently out of dangerous territory weight wise but her brain is not there and she finds it nearly impossible to eat if I don't supervise every meal and make her eat. Recently her therapist suggested we might consider inpatient daughter completely freaked out about the idea and said she would really try. Her Therapist told her at that point that there would be two trains pulling out of the station this summer and it was up to her which train she was her therapist left it open and now I'm torn on what to do. That was last Tuesday....on Friday I helped her develop a meal plan based on points rather than calories. She has done fairly well with it over the weekend....though she didn't manage to eat points for things from the 'fats' category. She also called up her best friend and told her about the eating disorder and asked her to help her at lunch time to be more accountable since she never actually eats her lunch. Her best friend just texted me to tell me she did eat today and I don't think her friend would fib so this is a big improvement. My fear is that my daughter will 'play the game' until she thinks inpatient is off the table and then revert to her normal patterns. The inpatient facility has accepted my daughter for admission and is calling to set a date for admission.....I don't know what to say.....I worry she will not be able to keep this up on her own but I also don't want her to feel betrayed when she has really made some big strides the past few days. I've seen her make improvements in the past and then turn around and go right back to her anorexic eating/behaviors. Any thoughts or suggestions?


Hope = Hold on, pain ends.

Hi!! Thank you so much for your post!

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been struggling with an ED. ED's are complex and confusing diseases that I think require a wide spectrum of professional insights in order to best approach things. But, I can tell how much you are a loving mother and that is awesome!!! Your love and concern for your daughter is clear and I think you are a great mom for finding these forums and posting your question.

By no means am I a mental health professional, so I would truly encourage you to ask your daughter's therapist and doctors their opinion if your daughter should go to an inpatient facility. I know from my experience recovering from an ED through adolescence that my parents were a key part in my recovery and I had to rely on them to truly listen to my treatment team and determine if certain actions needed to be taken. I know from my own experience that your daughter's fear about going away is real and difficult. However, once I was in a residential treatment I had the support and help I needed to get better. Now I am very grateful for all of the help and support and decisions my parents did.

So, with that said, I would really have a conversation with your daughter's treatment team and rely upon their insight to know what option is best for your daughter's long term treatment plan.

There is a great resource that I think might help! It is called the NEDA Navigator program and it is comprised of volunteers who have experience with recovery who are eager to support you! A Navigator is a great way to receive free, private support and advice for things related and not related to your ED. Here's a link to learn more!

I hope this helps! You are a strong, wonderful mother and I hope the best for you and your daughter! Please let me know if you have questions or would like to talk about anything else!

Stay strong!!