National Eating Disorders Association

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I'm dying...

I'm dying. I know it. I wasn't fat, but I felt like I was. I read all of these books about how bulimia is a bad thing, and I know that it is, but I can't stop. It a few months ago. It wasn't much at first. I would just puke after big meals, like Thanksgiving. But now, it has turned into an every day occurrence. Every time I eat or even drink anything other than water, I puke. It scares me. I want help, but I can't tell anyone. I know I need to, but they would be so ashamed of me. I know it. I am in so much pain and have nothing left in my stomach. I need help. I am so scared!

Please Reach Out to Hotline and Helpline

Dear Homeanooma,

I understand you are incredibly scared. You are NOT alone! I would encourage you to do one of these actions ASAP!! You are worth fighting for and I know you can do this. There are so many people out there to help that are sensitive, compassionate and confidential. I would encourage you to contact the NEDA Helpline #800.931.2237 (M-F/9am - 5pm/EST).

I understand your concern for not wanting to tell anyone for fear of your perceived shame. Please know that I believe, from my own personal experience, I can tell you that it's the ED feeding your private thoughts of shame. You are stronger than ED. Family and friends truly want only the best for you. I know if you had a friend or family member going through what "you" are going through, you would want to reach out to them with unconditional love and support, and they would not feel ashamed and would receive the help they so deserve and need. I know I don't know you, but I've recovered from my ED and know how enjoyable life can be without ED. You deserve to fight for a loving and healthy relationship with yourself. I absolutely know you can do this.

You may even need to consider going to the hospital or ER to make sure you do not become dehydrated and get some much needed nutrients into your body, so your internal organs will not be damaged. Let this just be the starting point.

I'm here for you, as well as many other wonderful women/men whom understand because we've walked this same path. Remember, you are NOT alone!

Please let me know if I can help further. Also, please let us know that you've reached out to get some help.

Loving hugs!

Help IS available!

I agree with LegacyOfLove's comments. It is so important that you know that help IS available! The NEDA Helpline is a great place to start - your call will be confidential and asking for help is one of the strongest things you can do right now. You can take charge of your ED by talking with a professional who is trained in eating disorders. They will not be judgmental, ashamed of you, or angry with you; rather, they will be supportive and listen to you with only the best of intentions. I know it can be a terrifying experience, but I believe in you! Thank you for posting here and I encourage you to take the next step!
Here are some other websites that may be helpful:


Dear Homeanooma,

I'm just checking back in with you to see how you are doing since my reply post to you two days ago, as well Nan's post!?! Thanks Nan for your loving support of Homeanooma!

Please let me know how you are doing!? You've been on my heart and mind!


NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.