National Eating Disorders Association

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I'm a bulimic and my father's septic tank starting leaking, I'm scared it's my fault PLEASE HELP ME

Hello, I'm really scared right now. I have been a bulimic for seven years and have not told a soul… I am actually in an AA recovery program right now and trying to work on everything I can. Working on my eating disorder is something I will be discussing with my sponsor in Step 4 (which is the step where you admit all of the secrets, lies, resentments, and losses you have felt in life).

Anyway- I have been living with my father for a little over a month now and I have been purging about once a day into the toilet. He found excess water coming from the septic tank today and he is having someone examine it within the next few days. I am ready to work on this problem, more than ever, but I don't want this to be the way they have to find out. I am finally working on myself and getting myself healthy in all aspects and I'm just so scared this is how it's going to go down.

Is it possible the guy coming to check out the problem will see it's from vomit? Would a month of vomiting be enough to make this happen? Is there any advice someone can give me on a way to avoid this matter? I know lying isn't something I want to do-- but I'm not sure I can handle this mortifying experience and I just want to be able to work this out through choosing to go into a recovery program and finally admitting to my father and closest loved ones what I've been putting myself through over the years in my own way.

If anyone can help in any way, I'm desperate and really scared. Thank you guys.

Please don't be scared. You

Please don't be scared. You are so so brave for already seeking help on a professional level and I admire how self-aware you are to know what you can do and when.

I don't know about your family situation or how septic tanks work, but IF they find out (and it's only a possibility) it is more than likely they will be willing to support you. Of course they will be shocked. But once this clears I don't know of any other better support system. I was scared about telling my family too; so scared I would be judged, but they have surprised me at every turn with their love and understanding. I agree with you about lying - it could complicate matters further. Telling your close family and friends is always going to be difficult and maybe this is a good an opportunity as any.

If you're worried about them finding out by finding the vomit, consider telling them before the maintenance guy arrives. That way they will be prepared. And if he doesn't, then by telling your family you have already made a healthy step towards recovery. There's nothing to lose from this.

I can see you want to recover. By coming on here, I know you are ready. Don't be scared, we are all here for you. Any time you need support, we will listen.

Take good care of yourself HUGS