National Eating Disorders Association

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I need advice

Hello. My name is Timothy. I'm you're everyday average hero. I try and help out anyone I can. I'm not perfect so I never expect anyone to be so. Recently I've came across the most amzing girl. In the few months we've been together I've grown closer to her than anyone before. Like to put it in perspective this is the girl everyone looks for in hopes that they will spend the rest of their life with. I am madly in love with this girl and she feels exactly the same towards me. There's this one problem though.

She has a bulimia problem. Every time I try and talk to her about trying to stop or giving it up it leads to drawn out arguements that leave us feeling terrible. We always come back together after a day or two and make up, but I don't wabt to keep doing this to her. I don't want her to keep doing that to herself. Please help me find a way to save the girl I love. I am no expert on this topic. I have helped her quit cutting. I have boosted her self esteem greatly although it still is quite low. I love her dearly. Someone who has the wisdom greater than I, please help me...


Let me start off by first saying how great of a guy you are for sticking with your girlfriend even during these hard times. When people have eating disorders, it is so easy for their family or friends to turn away from them because the ED has such as strong hold on them. So I just wanted to say thank you for sticking by her side and not giving up on her!

The fact that you were able to get her to stop cutting is huge. Bulimia, like cutting, is another mental disorder that has a strong hold of their victims. From my past experience, whenever somebody would ask me about my bulimia, I would put a wall up and start to get extremely mad at the person. I did not like to be asked about it at all. So I think that you should give her time to talk to you. Or you could even say something along the lines of:

"I know you have been struggling with bulimia and I do not want to argue with you about it. I just wanted to let you know that I will always be here for you whenever you need a person to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a person to vent to. I truly care about you and the last thing I want is for this disease to take your life. I'm not going to try and stop you but whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm here."

Just let her know that you are there for her no matter what. Don't make a big deal about it, but just let her know that she is worth recovery.

If you personally have any questions, feel free to contact the NEDA hotline: 1-800-931-2237
The hotline is filled with trained volunteers that want nothing more than to help you and your girlfriend.

Here is the link to the parent, family, and friends network for support:
There, you will find different resources and ways you can help.

Eating disorders are a stubborn disease and often take a lot of time to get over so stay strong as a supporter and boyfriend and please do not give up on her. I can tell you love her very much.


Thank you, I did my research

Thank you, I did my research on the disorder. I talked it over with her with a different approach and now she is 3 days clean. I'm looked some other forums and I am using some of the advice given to others in situations like me. Thank you all. This site is a gift.

Hi there!

Hey there, Timothy!!

It is so awesome that you are wanting to help your friend in recovery!!!! One thing that would be best to do is to have full resources of professionals during this process. It is always best to have separation between your role as a supportive boyfriend versus that of a mental health specialist. In other words, conflict will come up throughout this process and having clear people associated with clear roles helps immensely in the process.

Did that make sense? I would highly recommend trying to at least see a physician who knows eating disorders. There are a lot of scary dangers to both being active in an eating disorder and trying to recover from it. If you would like, calling the NEDA Helpline would be able to provide you with a list of all available resources in your area. All you have to do is call 1-800-931-2237.

Please let me know if you have any questions! I hope things are well!!

Hey ! i think she needs

Hey ! i think she needs medical advice, you talk to her make her understand about her disorder, explain her all the research you have done on bulimia, explain her the adverse effect of bulimia, make her understand the situation.

susanpetrick, those are some

susanpetrick, those are some great ideas! However, that sounds like a lot of responsibility for a boyfriend to take on and more like the job of an actual medical or mental health professional, specialized in eating disorders. A health professional will be best able to help her better understand her disorder.

Thank you for your support on the forums!

i am new here .don't know how

i am new here .don't know how to help but i think everything will be fine...

Reach out!

Hey Claire, welcome to the community! Even if you might not be sure about how to help, you definitely can talk to people you know who care about you, as well as professionals. There are also supportive and caring listeners at the NEDA Helpline (1-800-931-2237) who can give you support, resources, and information. NEDA always encourages seeking professional help should you have any concerns or questions. Here's a great link to help you get started on answering some questions that you may have:

Don't forget that no matter what you are going through, help is a phone call away, and you deserve to get the best help possible! It can feel confusing and hard at first to make the next step, but you've already shown your willingness to change for the better by posting on the forum! You can tell more about what's been going on with the forum or make a call to NEDA Helpline, where a listening ear can help figure out how to best help :)