National Eating Disorders Association

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Camila
I know I have to, I don't know if I can

Today I step on that scale after 2 weeks of eating a lot and skiping my daily workouts. I've gained weight. I'm surprise it wasn't more, since there has been days that I ate more than a lot. In December, I decided that I would stop the bulimia and start losing weight the healthy way. Litlle by little, I increase the amount of calories, but in January I wasn't eating the minimum, which is my BMR. So I tried to eat that, but the minute I passed my BMR, I inmediatly thought :"I have to throw up this". So, knowing that I was going to purge, I ate everything I wanted and then I purge it. The moment I realise I didn't have my bulimia under control was when I stop to think about what I've done everyday for one whole week or maybe more. Before it was once a week or less. Tomorrow I want to start fresh with a healthy weight loss plan for 14 weeks until I reach my ultimate weight goal. But I'm not sure if I can do that, I'm afraid I'll get worse.

I probably should tell a little bit about me. I'm 18 years old. The first time I purge was when I was 14 years old. Since then it has been on and off, some months it's gone and then it comes back,

eghall
Yes, You Can!

HI Camila -

It sounds like your head and heart know what you want to do, but the battle to stop the purging is really hard for you. Have you spoken with a doctor or a professional about what is going on? Do you have any friends or family that you can turn to for support?

You can find a lot of resources on this website. Learn about treatment here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/treatment. Also, read here for information you can pass on to your friends and family about what you are going through: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/family-and-friends

It is not unusual for certain eating disorder behaviors to come and go. With proper treatment, I am very hopeful that recovery is possible! Don't give up on yourself! Relapse is not uncommon and it doesn't mean recovery isn't possible.

I'd love to hear more about who you turn to for support. I know it's hard but I believe in you!!! Believe in yourself!