National Eating Disorders Association

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Camie
I feel lost

Hi everyone. I have had eating disorders for years, and it started with binge eating. I then figured out how to purge and became bulimic, and then anorexic and then bulimic again when I was forced to eat by family. I have been in recovery for over a year now and have not purged since last April. I still have the tendency to binge, and I also have been having the urge to restrict calories. It's like the whole mindset is still there and I just feel lost and I don't know what to do...

dropthemetaphor
re: I feel lost

Hey Camie--welcome to the forums. You've come to the right place for support and you're doing a really brave thing reaching out here. I first wanted to say a huge congratulations for sustaining recovery for a year. What an incredible accomplishment! I hope you're proud of yourself!

Second, please be gentle with yourself. Recovery is never a straight line and it's totally normal for you to still feel consumed by ED thoughts and urges even though you've stopped purging. I'm four years into full recovery and the last thing to go for me was binging. It took a while, but after a long enough time being weight restored and relearning hunger cues and feeding myself enough every day, I gradually lost those binge urges completely.

I wanted to share a few resources here on the NEDA website that might be helpful as you continue navigating this grey area:

Stages of recovery: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/recovery

Life during recovery: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/life-d...

What changes over the course of long-term recovery: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/unders...

Always remember you're brave and resilient and you can fight this. You're not alone. Please keep us posted on your progress. We care about you and believe in you!

lovetowrite81
Camie

Hi Camie,

Just wanted to check in with you & see how you are feeling this week? I am so sorry you have been struggling for so long. But I also want to congratulate you on starting the road to recovery and for being able to maintain not purging. That is a huge step and you should be so proud of yourself. Yes, unfortunately ED's do manifest differently in certain seasons of our lives, as I have struggled with both restrictive eating and binge eating as well. That black/white mindset, thinking on the extremes of the binge/restrict cycle is so hard to get out of. Are you currently working with a professional such as a therapist in the recovery process? I just wanted to see more about where you're at. And affirm that it is so hard. But you are taking the right steps in coming here and wanting to invest in your recovery. That is so brave of you. We are here for you. Please keep us posted <3

wtmann321
seek help :)

Hi! I have been in rocvery for 17 months and all I can say is there are times of feeling great, terrible, triumphant and lost. My advice to you is to get help and support. I work with a dietician and a therapist and they help me set goals and achieve them. This might be helpful for you to feel back on track!