National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
good news

I have good news. Just yesterday I signed for an apartment. I live with a friend now but I am moving out on my own to my own apartment this comes right after my other roomate decided she wanted to move out. It is a big move but I am super excited but my therapist said i can't lose anymore weight and I have to do everything and just be awesome she said she knows i can be awesome I have to follow my meal plan and gain weight and do what i have to do. I want to move out and be on my own completely no roomates so no late night parties and roomates going in rooms when not asking. it will be me and my cat I can't wait I move in January and wish it was sooner. The apartment is a bit more expensive then i can fully afford so my parents are helping and my therapist said don't let that get in my head like they may notice i look not great and how they show love is buy me things or handle money matters they wanted me in a nice apartment in a nice area so they are willing to help. my therapist said don't let that keep me sick. i also have to cut down one appointment i see her for 4 hours now it will have to be 3 which is hard for me but i want to move out so have to do it. my parents even asked if i can see my nutritionist less as they help pay for that and they will be helping with the apartment which would probably be ok i have to talk to my team as i have been on shaky ground i really need to prove myself and that i can do this. my therapist said even though i am happy and excited now i can't change my painful past so i will still have my bad days but i have to look at the here and now. she said I am doing really well for someone with my past yes i have my eating disorder and self harm but she said i could be much worse off and now i am going to be at my job for 3 years and i live on my own kind of and will more and well just could have really given up and i have not i work hard and yes i struggle but still trying and i am not giving up.

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Hi Hermione3-
Congratulations on your new apartment! That is such exciting news:) It is clear from what you share on the forums that you are trying and working hard in your recovery as difficult as it has been. Your therapist clearly recognizes your dedication and resilience as well. She is right-- there are going to be rough days, weeks, even seasons- but you are moving forward. We are so proud of you and believe in you! You are awesome <3

hermione3
Thanks for the encouragement

Thanks for the encouragement she said i can't use all my stuff as excuses to go back to behaviors and also she feels my eating disorder doesn't really serve me like it used to and i am like chasing the dragon so to speak.I am working hard to do my best i may not be perfect but she said she doesn't believe i am working if I am not doing 100% of my meal plan because she said I spent years excelling in school and work when i was in the depths of my illness if i put my mind to it I can do it she believes and she believes I can be awesome. it has been difficult and will be through the holidays as they are hard but she said if i don't keep it together for the next 6 weeks before i move in it won't happen. moving on my own is huge and I am counting the days I just can't wait i know there will be hard days but i have my treatment team behind me and I have to just follow my meal plan and do 100% and work hard i know i can do this i stayed out of the hospital while living with my friend first time i went a year without going to a hospital my therapist has said i have been close and on shaky ground for some time but i can turn it around and make the right choices. my therapist always says build a life you want to protect. i want my own apartment, my cat, my friends, my job i will be at 3 years this December I for once have a lot to lose. before my therapist also believed i wanted inpatient as an escape from my brother who abused me like it was unconscious maybe but i needed to escape and that was how i did it i got sick and needed to go away. a year away and maybe shaky ground but i am working hard. do or do not there is no try says yoda and i bought that bracelet today my therapist says i have to do not just try.