National Eating Disorders Association

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Girlfriend with Bulimia could have sexual symptoms?

I recently found out (by her) that my girlfriend is bulimic. She is not through her worst phase, from what I know she's done it a couple of times during the last 6 months (of course we can never know for sure as she is afraid to disclose lots of information from harming the relationship and scaring me away)

She claims its not an appearance issue - but rather a control issue of how what she eats affects her body. Also this seems to have started from when she was a teenager and her family and mother tried to control what she ate. She found out this way as "getting back the control".

I have never witnessed her over-eating. She eats slowly, and carefully. I have never seen the minor exaggeration in how she eats. So, no binge eating. She drinks somewhat more alcohol from time to time but nothing really bad.

As I am her boyfriend in an exclusive relationship, I would like to know if a person like that has a tendency of impulsive sexual behaviors. Of course I don't ask for a clairvoyant, I just want to know if it is typical that people like that cannot commit to a long-lasting exclusive relationship.

I asked her to see a therapist (which if she will, it will be the first time) and she easily agreed to do it (we'll have to see how far this promise will go). But I guess this is a good first step. She told me not to be worried and that it's not that bad now, but she also told me she can't promise that it won't happen again but she promises to try to suppress it.

I would like to know what all this means for me. I like her very much but I want to know what I am getting into and how I should behave. (I already read the "What should I say article and I believe I did exactly all what is mentioned. I was calm. didn't judge her at all, the only thing I told her is , please talk to someone, I will find you someone to talk to. And I also heard and tried to understand how she feels and why she's doing it.

FWIW I am determined not to allow any sexual unfaithfulness for any reason. 0 tolerance. Does this stand any chance of going through the long term?

Thanks for your time.

Hi There!!


Thank you for posting your thoughts on the forum! I hope I can help!!

First, I am very happy that you love your girlfriend enough to seek out advice!! However, I am a little bit confused on what you are asking about, though... Can you help me understand better? Are you asking about any of the content from this link?

If not, maybe you could reword your question for me to help me better grasp your fears or concerns.

I hope this helps!! Thanks!

I have zero decent advice for

I have zero decent advice for you. I'll give you one caution, though. Don't jump to conclusions. Just because someone has impulsivity with food, it doesn't mean they'll be impulsive elsewhere. I don't know what you want to do with your relationship, and I'm sure it'll work out for the best, but I think you might be panicking a little.

I can certainly understand your lack of interest in sexual unfaithfulness, but I also think she deserves someone who isn't going to expect her to have issues in other areas because she has food issues.