National Eating Disorders Association

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Wedding Dress Sadness

Only a year into recovery and 20 days is my wedding. It's not fancy at all, like just the officiate, a few family members and the two of us. Not even sure where we are having it. It's all had to be a bit haphazard, being that he is from the UK and we are jumping on a window between now and the next Covid lock down.

Anyway, we never expected the wedding itself would be anything major but I had set aside this pretty little dress I got when I graduated college some years ago. Back then, when I put it on it was too big for me, so I figured I was in the clear when I gained so much weight during recovery. But no... it doesn't fit... at all. Like, no chance in hades. And considering that our wedding was already gonna have to be done in this less than ideal way... having that little special dress was kinda comforting. But now, I can't even dream to wear it. And I dunno, it's making me really sad. It's not even a wedding dress. And my sister and mom can't make it to the wedding so I can't try on dresses with them.

I dunno, I just feel really sad. I do have another cute dress that I'm talking to everyone about wearing. But honestly, I just feel very unworthy of a wedding dress and afraid to shop for one alone. Like, I don't have a wedding dress for my wedding and I'm too ashamed to go buy one alone where I will have to look at a body I don't recognize. I don't even know where to start with this body! I still haven't bought new bras! It's so disorienting. I was anorexic for soooo long. I don't understand this body at all.

This happened to me too w/ dresses I had collected and then.....

I had to donate many articles of clothing, including the beautiful cocktail dresses which I had saved for weekends w/ my friends.

This last year I went to try on my old clothing, purchased a few yrs ago, and none of them fit.

I did not beat myself up. I decided that I need to work on toning up.

I placed all my old clothes , that did not fit, into the donation clothing bin.

I re-ordered a bunch of Macy jeans online. They arrived and they all fit my new measurements Perfectly.

Just go shopping, online is fun too. You just need to measure your areas where the clothes will fit. Then go online shopping and order your hearts desires.

Yes, I was mad at myself for having to waste money on new clothes, more like guilty for having to donate my clothes most recently.

But, hey I made a donation to my fellow female seekers of necessary cocktail dresses and now I feel better.

Just have fun and forget about the weight or inches gained over these last 2 Covid years of sheltering in place.

I had to give up the gym and swimming. I took up walking 3x a week or so and gained a new 2nd job in retail grocery and pharmacy sales.

I am back to my former job #1 and that's where I plan to where my new, perfectly fitting mail order jeans from Macy's.

I hope that you may feel better and forgive yourself for your body's changing and evolving beyond your expectations. I wish you the best of luck in the wedding and hope you may find a new substitute dress that fits perfectly and you have a fun, cherished, memorable day at your wedding.

Hope that You are Doing Fine

How is everything going with your wedding and the holidays? I hope that all is well for you.