National Eating Disorders Association

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Feeling Like I Have No Control Over a Few Things...........

So my period's been irregularly late since July.

My belly and upper torso just feel so bloated to me.

I try and exercise but in spite of hydrating w/ plenty of water,

eating carefully, and even praying.

I just can't seem to get a grip on my body's

rebelling against all the years of self discipline,

and healthy lifestyle. I feel embarrassed to even go near friends

who hadn't seen me since CV-19 shelter began in 2020.

I am feeling kind of euphoric over getting a better grip on my body

getting straight, and getting back into shape.

I am taking 1 day off during my work week to catch up

on everything that I can't do because,

I have returned to my 2 job routine as before,

and ever shall be for me, AMEN..... work as a teacher,

once again.

I miss Not being in 1 to 1 , onsite therapy,

at my doctor's office.

It's all still done w/ Zoom check ins, ZOOM job

interviews, Zoom board meetings, and other eye straining and neck muscle straining too.


I just wanna Zoom away to a far away place,

and ask The Great Wizard of Life to please help

me to get back to the way I was comfortable before.

ALL this COVID, Covid, CV-19...

took me out of the fast career whirlwind that

I was stuck running in.

felt like it froze me

in 1 sheltered spot for almost 2 yrs

of my hardly lived life of 35-Something+ years old,

and a few yrs + or -

either way.

I feel really sedated and slow, somehow controlled

by something other than myself.

I am a control freak so feeling like I am being controlled

by something other than me is like being on a bad roller coaster ride

that just won't end.....

I am really tired of this crippling feeling.

and need to get myself back up to AAU speed.

I plan to take 1 step at a time.

I have a new goal and

it will take time

to accomplish.

Take care everyone....