National Eating Disorders Association

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Want to give up so badly

I had my yearly appointment with my pediatrician today and things didn’t go well. I politely asked the nurse not to tell me my weight and she complied but when the doctor came in she immediately mentioned that I’ve gained weight since March (when I started trying to eat intuitively) and told me the number. I’m really upset and I don’t know what to do. I knew I gained weight but I was doing better not knowing the number. The pediatrician doesn’t know about my ed because I am self treating. I want so badly to stop eating again. I thought intuitive eating was supposed to be good for you and help your body image but all I’ve done is gain since I started even though I was already above a normal weight. I just want to give up.

I’m so sorry your doctor was

I’m so sorry your doctor was so inappropriate and invasive. That is absolutely uncalled for. It makes me so upset when doctors don’t listen to what their patients say! Because I am very much the same way - I do much better without knowing my weight. The way I think about it, no matter what the number is, I won’t be happy. So why torture myself with looking at is and obsessing? When we are able to eat intuitively, as you say you’ve been working on, our bodies will find the weight that allows us to function to the best of our ability and stay well and safe. Just like height, our bodies have a number in mind for weight. Sometimes that number can fluctuate if we need to heal from damage that’s been done, and that’s okay too. What your doctor did was not okay. I’m so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and erase that number! Just remember you are so, so much more. And you owe it to yourself to keep fighting and keep nourishing. Because you are worthy. You deserve to be free
Stay strong <3

Thank you for the advice

You’re right, no matter what the number is I will never be satisfied. It’s just hard to hear it said out loud. The doctor asked me if I was eating enough fruits and vegetables so that definitely didn’t help either. I’m going grocery shopping and I’m going to try to pick up more. It’s hard to shop for myself rather than my ED after hearing that, but I will do my best. Thank you for hearing me out and giving advice without judgement.

I really understand

Your story really hit home. When I was a young teen (pre-teen), my pediatrician did almost exactly the same thing as what you experienced. The difference was that my mother told them please make no comment on my weight, yet he came in and said I was slightly overweight. I went through several ED episodes. Just last year, my PCP forced me to get weighed. Again, I was slightly overweight. Now I am not because I frantically 'corrected' that, but 10 months later (at 55 years old) I have an ED again


Wow, I didn’t realize that this was such a common thing. I’m so sorry that happened to you too. Doctors don’t realize how damaging those comments can be for someone with an ed. It really can send someone who’s been recovered for years into a relapse. I’m barely hanging on by a thread at this point. It makes me not want to go back to a doctor lol. Anyway I really hope things get better for both of us. We deserve to be happy and love ourselves, it’s just easier said than done. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for your comment!

Dear weouthere

We are sorry to hear you are struggling and would like to leave some resources for you. Our NEDA Helpline is confidential and available at 800.931.2237 M-Th 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET. Additionally you can chat with us online M-Th 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-5pm ET. If you feel as though you are in crisis please do not hesitate to text “NEDA” to 741-741 or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255. Stay well and take care!

You're welcome

You're welcome. Wishing you the best of luck too!


Sorry your having a hard time, hope you will be okay soon. Lots of hugs to help.

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