National Eating Disorders Association

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sayia_valentine
UpDate

Hi guys! I just wanted to post an update on what's been going on.
My first post was about my fiance and his Twitter. We talked and I agreed to let him keep it so he can vent all of his thoughts out so he doesn't self harm. As of right now he he still taking laxatives and eating low calories. However from what he's told me is he's eaten more then he has in months. So that's good.
However, even though I had never been diagnosed with an ED myself, it did trigger some of my own issues but im working on those.

I guess my next thing is, how do i stay supportive and positive for him? I do get worried when I see him using fast apps and calorie counters.

Also are there other support groups? I've looked on FB but can't find any for partners and I just feel as if I'm alone. Thanks

_admin_moderator
Resources

Hi! We are providing you with some resources that you can pass along to your finace because you mentioned self harm:  

If you're interested in learning more about support groups you're more than welcome to reach out to the Helpline! Please feel free to contact the Helpline at (800) 931-2237. The Helpline is open Mondays-Thursdays 9AM-9PM EST and Fridays 9AM-5PM EST. During these hours you can chat with us by clicking the chat now option at the top right hand corner!

BobJ48
Sayia

It really is good that the two of you have been able to talk about his situation. That really is progress I think. As you said, it can be unsettling to see him still counting calories and using laxatives. It's a lot to ask of him to just totally stop these behaviors right away, but at the same time, it would be good to be able to believe that he is trying to fight the more unhealthy aspects of his situation. But If he can continue to be honest with you, that's still progress I think.

As far as being supportive of him, perhaps you could ask him what he thinks might help ? Sometimes people forget to ask that, so you might want to ask him, and see what he has to say. If anything, it would give him something to think about.

I don't know if there are any more active support sites than this one. In the old days there used to be a pretty big one, but this is the only one that I know abut now, and it's kind of hidden away on the site, and hard for people to find. If you should happen to locate one, let us know.

In the mean time, I hope you can keep writing if it seems to help. As you said, it's not very active here, but sooner or later you are sure to get a response.

sayia_valentine
Thank you!

thank you!! As of right now he says he's been doing alot better, and as we as told me what I have been doing has been helping him. We both have been super honest and open, and our relationship hasn't been this good in months, which is super nice. He even admitted to me that he didn't plan on going below X lbs. This is a huge improvement because before hand he wanted to be lower. Currently we have a deal that if he does fall below X lbs I will have to intervene a little more and will monitor him more.

As much as I hate it, I think when he saw me struggle he realized what he was doing was toxic and he realized that he didn't want anyone he loved suffering as well. I think it helped him see what he was doing is hurtful.

I'm still searching for more groups, because I do think their should be espeically for partners. However i will definitely update when i find one!

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Resources