National Eating Disorders Association

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dancergirl
the blame game

how do yall handle telling your parents about ED issues without them feeling like it's their fault? If I didn't have to explain all this crap to my mom I would have gone residential by now.. but whenever I try to bring up mental health or what I talk about in my therapy sessions about eating habits and body dysmorphia she just apologizes for being a terrible parent. which is super not helpful but the last thing I want to do is tell her her feelings are wrong and say it is all my fault, just for her to say I told you so when I cried about going up a pant size when I was 12 years old and she said "stop thinking that way". I tell her I can feel that therapy is making me feel better and she says it is "not supposed to work that fast" and that I was probably faking it the whole time... to get her to pay $90 a session, I don't think so!! anyway, I am stuck between her saying she will do anything to support my mental health except exactly what I ask for because she thinks she is being dramatic. what do i do?

Annet
Hi Dance Girl,

Why don't you tell your therapist about this situation and ask her to talk to your mother?
Maybe she/he can find a way to explain things to her.
However, if your mom is "being dramatic" or thinks your disorder is "her fault", maybe she also needs some therapy. I think at this point, the intention is not to find "responsibles" or to blame someone but to support you as much as possible so you overcome your eating disorder.

Hugs
Annet

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