National Eating Disorders Association

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the blame game

how do yall handle telling your parents about ED issues without them feeling like it's their fault? If I didn't have to explain all this crap to my mom I would have gone residential by now.. but whenever I try to bring up mental health or what I talk about in my therapy sessions about eating habits and body dysmorphia she just apologizes for being a terrible parent. which is super not helpful but the last thing I want to do is tell her her feelings are wrong and say it is all my fault, just for her to say I told you so when I cried about going up a pant size when I was 12 years old and she said "stop thinking that way". I tell her I can feel that therapy is making me feel better and she says it is "not supposed to work that fast" and that I was probably faking it the whole time... to get her to pay $90 a session, I don't think so!! anyway, I am stuck between her saying she will do anything to support my mental health except exactly what I ask for because she thinks she is being dramatic. what do i do?

Hi Dance Girl,

Why don't you tell your therapist about this situation and ask her to talk to your mother?
Maybe she/he can find a way to explain things to her.
However, if your mom is "being dramatic" or thinks your disorder is "her fault", maybe she also needs some therapy. I think at this point, the intention is not to find "responsibles" or to blame someone but to support you as much as possible so you overcome your eating disorder.