National Eating Disorders Association

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New and uncomfy

Hi all,
I am extremely new to do this and have never really openly talked about my issues with food. For starters, i have never been formally diagnosed with an eating disorder and im honestly not sure if I would like too. I dont know if what im experiencing is considered an eating disorder or something. However, within the past year I have had issues with eating, my weight and food in general and at this point its the only thing I really think about or care about. Growing up, I was always overweight and didn't eat right, which I acknowledge. However, I never actively tried to get healthy or to get to a healthy weight. My weight didn't really matter to me so I never thought about it. Though within this past year, I just felt so distressed about my appearance and so I turned to severe restricting and over excercising. I don't know honestly how I fell down the hole, it seemed to happen so quickly, but within 6 months I had lost almost half of my body weight and was continuing to lose. I was severly restricting, and over working my body in order to continue to lose weight and avoid food. My coworkers, family, and friends all noticed my rapid weight loss and several expressed concern over it, though I just played it off and said it was from me working so much (I was working 50+ hours a week in a restaurant). I eventually began to experience the negative impact of avoiding eating and I experienced a bunch of different medical issues, which are all still an issue and scare me. Calories and weight loss just consumed my life; I have tried to become better and work on my rituals and restrictions by myself though Ive gotten to the point where I know I cant do it alone. I think my family knows that theres something going on, though choose to not comment on it. I dont want to bring it up, or talk to them about it-- I get immense anxiety thinking about talking about my issues with them, and would rather avoid the entire experience all together. That being said, I would like to begin therapy and try to establish some form of recovery but I know I can't get away without my family knowing about it. I am just lost, and don't know who to turn to. I still am struggling with restricting and obssessing over my weight. Its my entire life now and I just dont know how to fix it.

Dear zaffiedil

We are sorry to hear you are struggling and wanted to send some additional resources your direction. You can always call our confidential NEDA Helpline at 800.931.2237 M-Th 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET. You can also chat with us online M-Th 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-5pm ET. In addition, you can use our screening tool for some assistance in determining if you should seek professional help. Please know this is not a diagnostic tool but is meant to be an additional resource. Please take care!

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.