National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
Serious anxiety x 3

Hi. It is after midnight and I am lying in bed chewing my nails like a crazed person. I go back to work tomorrow after about month of not working. I am not worried about that but nervous that I will be tired. I want to sleep but I have to get up and put gloves on to help me stop chewing on my nails. The anxiety has been so bad that my therapist is going to give me an extra session tomorrow. I just needed to put this out and ask for support. I had a good day but now...

imstillgrowing
iwanttolive

Hi Iwanttolive :) I'm sorry you are dealing with such crippling anxiety. A lot has been going on! Between what's happened with your sister and the pandemic leaving everyone mostly stuck inside, it makes total sense why you'd be anxious. Praying for you, that you find some relief tonight and that work is great tomorrow <3

iwanttolive
Zero

I did not sleep at all and it is now 6am. Ugh

iwanttolive
here again

I feel so guilty for the amount that I am struggling. I can not stop chewing on my fingernails. It has been forty minutes straight this time and now I have to go and put gloves on again. I am starting to want to die. The cycle of depressive episodes, anxiety and then add in the binging and weight gain.
No sleep for last almost twenty-four hours. I can not let my parent's know because of the suffering they are going through with my sister and her illness. I know my dying would not help my Mom at ALL. I am not planning on doing anything. Just they way I am feeling. Just thoughts. I am miserable. But then guilt because sooooo many people are dying and I am upset about being depressed and not sleeping and eating too much. So stupid

Blue44
iwanttolive

Hello iwanttolive. It’s really tough when you can’t sleep. I’m sorry that you are having thoughts of dying. I’ve been there. I’m glad that you don’t have plans to act on your thoughts. Please stay safe. Call a crisis line if you need that. I care about you. You are such a special person.

_admin_moderator
Dear iwanttoliveYou have

Dear iwanttoliveYou have brought up some concerning feelings and we wanted to post some available resources to you if you need support.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out and seek help. Stay strong and take care!

tryingtobebrave
I’m so sorry you’re

I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this. And yes, there is a crisis going on in the world but mental illness does not take a break for these things. Try not to put more guilt into yourself, it’s not your fault and you’re not a bad person. You’re one of the most compassionate and giving people I have ever known. You’re worth it. Please call a crisis line if you need to. Also remember to take into consideration that the longer you go without sleep, it was severely effect our ability to process emotions and use wise mind. It amplifies everything! Just try to keep that in mind. I love you my friend.

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.

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