National Eating Disorders Association

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brokenhearted
new challenges with coronavirus/ support

In light of the coronavirus, I expect that there may be new challenges for those out there with an ED. For example, with gyms closing, my 23 year old daughter is finagling whatever she can to get her exercise addition fix. She did manage to find one that is still in operation. Shame on them. It's hard to believe that gyms are not required to close as the bars and restaurants have been required. I'm guessing the struggle is real for anyone with an addiction at this point; no casino for the gambling addicts, no gyms for the exercise addicts, no bars for the alcoholics, etc. Just thought if anyone wanted to share struggles they are presently experiencing with the onset of this virus, perhaps we could support one another.... Warmly, Brokenhearted

iwanttolive
brokenhearted

Hi there. I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing with your daughter. It is very difficult. I had an eating disorder for thirty years. I was sicker than I even remember. People and my Mom tell me of how fearful they were of my dying. But thanks to Jesus and my faith, and finally my desire to serve God, I am well and no longer consider myself to have an eating disorder. My life verse is "I will not die but live and declare the works of The Lord". Psalm 118:17.

I know from what my mother experienced watching me suffer, and having another seriously ill daughter, how difficult it is especially for mothers but I have to say equally for fathers. I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. It took me way too long to get well and stop hiding in and out in hospitals. I thought I couldn't live out in the real world, and I had to hide in programs and long term facilities. But I now know different. I had a set back in November but for several years I have been doing well. I still deal with anxiety and some depression but eat anything I want and am happy. Yes, I am happy.

As far as the virus and being inside, I am quarantined, have been for a week or so, and will be for another two weeks, at a great minimum, I am having to turn to my faith and know that the bracelet that I wear: Jesus Is Enough, that I am now really being put to the test. I am a soldier in the army of Jesus. He is my Rock. This is how I am dealing with this virus and being homebound. I am not saying it will be easy but I know Jesus will help me.

We all need to help each other in our families and circle of friends in order to get through this. Those who struggle with an eating disorder may have an especially difficult time as you said, the gyms are closed and work places are shutting down, and social gatherings are being limited. We need to lean on each other. As for your daughter, does she talk with you about her fears and concerns? Are you able to talk with her and share together? This may help her if she is able to talk. I don't know where she is at or the level of her illness, but being stuck inside for hours at a time when we are used to being out is difficult. At this point I am rambling.

If you want to chat again, I will look for your post.

iwanttolive

brokenhearted
Thank you for the encouraging

Thank you for the encouraging words iwanttolive. I certainly buy into Jesus being an important piece of recovery for anyone and am so glad that your faith has had such a great impact on your life. In my daughter's situation, she has always been a believer, attends services and really hears the messages, reads scripture, devotions, etc. Unfortunately, ED's/addictions seem to have the ability to takeover a person's judgement ability, overpowering everything they know to be true about God and his word. Knowing and believing and praying for a healthy existence is part of my entire family's life, but accepting that healing isn't going to happen on our time, is the hard part. I recently see some improvement in the ED, with less restrictions. Unfortunately, the control issues are still there and she is seeking this control in other dysfunctional ways. As a teenager, she was the perfect kid- good grades, excellent athlete, never in trouble, didn't party, etc... Went to college and all hell broke loose, managed to graduate with a business degree while playing college sports, but seems stuck in this world of self-esteem seeking. I am living with an unpredictable, deceitful, self-destructive teenager at 23 years old that thinks that she is invincible, although I am grateful that she is not off living on her own through this. Feeling abandoned by her father after our divorce 3 years ago, has contributed to the situation I'm sure. FYI, this all began in 2018, have attempted some treatment, including PHP, IOP, ... refuses any intervention at any level at this point... In a nutshell, she's stuck and so am I. Thanks for listening. Now I'm rambling. I enjoy our discussions... would love to hear more from you.

Savedbygrace
I agree

No matter how strong someone's faith is, they can still be struggling with putting their faith in GOD. I'm glad to hear there has been some progress made. I'm sorry your family is going through this. I myself struggled for 29 years, and just this past December, I FINALLY beat it. You are in my prayers.

brokenhearted
Thank you for the prayers. I

Thank you for the prayers. I honestly feel they are helping... I can't imagine 29 years of this! Thank you and iwanttolive for supporting others going through this. If anyone understands, you certainly would.

iwanttolive
brokenhearted

Hi. I am glad that you wrote back. God says in His the Bible that His Word does not return void. That means that everything your daughter has learned and understands stays. It may be hidden. But it is in there somewhere. Yes, there are times when healing doesn't come on this side of heaven, but NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. Hope is a Person. I understand the hijacking of the brain. Of the emotions. Of mother's children. It happened to me, my Mom and Dad and my mind. For the most part, I have my mind back. There are times I have bad body image. But I no longer have an eating disorder, after thirty years. It took me a long time. But Jesus is and was always with me.

As far as being stuck, you do not have to join your daughter in this mindset. You are separate from her and her decisions and her mind. You have the mind of Christ. Renew your thinking and your focus. Look toward Jesus. He is your Hope.

I do not say these things in a vacuum. I have lived them and so have my parent's. I am thankful that they never gave up on me. I thank you for helping your daughter. Loving her when she isn't easy to love. You are correct in saying that she isn't herself right now.

I am sorry for your pain and the divorce. That is never easy.

You say you see some improvements but then you add a but. I encourage you to erase the but and take hold of the improvement and believe for more. I know it isn't easy. It is important though.

I hope this helps.

Keep posting if you want. Been there, bought the T shirt and gave it back!!

brokenhearted
Well said... thank you so

Well said... thank you so much for the inspiring feedback. You have been through quite the journey and I really respect your advice/reflections. Thank you for reminding me how God plays a huge role in all of this. Since the last time we communicated, my daughter has made some significant improvements, but what I see her struggling with now is self-acceptance regarding the improvements. For example, she is asking for my opinion on what I call improvements and what she refers to as "disgusting". Any advice on how I can help her with self- acceptance/comfort with her improvements? Thank you...

brokenhearted
Well said... thank you so

Well said... thank you so much for the inspiring feedback. You have been through quite the journey and I really respect your advice/reflections. Thank you for reminding me how God plays a huge role in all of this. Since the last time we communicated, my daughter has made some significant improvements, but what I see her struggling with now is self-acceptance regarding the improvements. For example, she is asking for my opinion on what I call improvements and what she refers to as "disgusting". Any advice on how I can help her with self- acceptance/comfort with her improvements? Thank you...

iwanttolive
brokenhearted

Hi there. Am just checking in to see how you are doing.
I am doing okay. Trying to trust God n all he craziness gong on. He are you coping? Looking forward to chatting again.

iwanttolive

brokenhearted
hello

Hi!
Thank you for checking in with me... I haven't been on this site for a while, sorry. I hope you are doing well. My daughter is experiencing the symptoms of restoration based on what I have read, both physical and mental. Unfortunately she isn't under the guidance of any doctor, so all I can do is trust God and this process of restoration. I am not enjoying playing Dr. but thankful for improvements...

iwanttolive
brokenhearted

Hi. It is good to hear from you. Is there any way you can be seen by a medical doctor is you are not able to have a psychiatrist or therapist? It is important that she has good medical care during this season of her life. It sounds like she is making progress, Yes? How are you holding up with all that is going on? I am glad you reached out again and hope you continue to do so.

I am doing okay. Hopefully I can resume work this week. I am a home health aide so I know there will be work out there, I just have to be careful as to the cases I pick up to keep my sister and parent's safe.

My difficult time is at night but last night I was able to use some DBT skills and prayer. I was able to make it through the night. I am anxious right now but working on coloring my Mandala's as a way to cope. It isn't easy but I am taking it one day, one hour at a time.

So again, if it is possible to see a medical doctor for your daughter it might be very helpful just to check to see if everything is physically okay with her. God be with you.

iwanttolive

brokenhearted
Thanks for the quick response

Thanks for the quick response... I'm sorry you are feeling anxious right now and am glad you have some coping mechanisms to deal with it. Unfortunately, the average medical Dr. is poorly prepared for EDs. The prepared ones are usually employed at treatment facilities!
Also, at this point it is hard to get in to see anyone unless it's a dire emergency. The symptoms she is having are considered normal and should subside according to what I read. I feel like getting on a scale at the Dr. office and having a Dr. that does not understand her symptoms could be worse than not seeing a Dr. I am keeping a watchful eye on her and since we are both home at this point, I am with her throughout most of the day. Was just wondering if you are working with any medical professionals for yourself? So nice to hear from you...

_admin_moderator
Dear brokenhearted

We are sorry to hear of your daughters struggle and wanted to share some resources for you. You can call our NEDA Helpline at 800.931.2237 M-TH 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET and speak with a trained volunteer who can assist you in finding resources and support. You are also welcome to chat with us online M-TH 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-9pm ET. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. Take care!

iwanttolive
iwanttolive

Hi again. I am seeing medical doctors as needed for severe back pain and other medical conditions. I am waiting to get a spinal cord stimulator implant. But have to wait as the Covid takes priority. I work with my therapist and psychiatrist on tele med and other doctors that I need but am unable to see because of the virus. I am given an opening on the computer or my phone. I hate this as I do not like seeing myself on a screen but I am doing what I need to in order to stay well. I also am attending church services this way as well. Staying connected is important.

The anxiety is very high. I am wearing gloves to prevent myself from chewing on my fingernails. My mother came over to help me. Since she has been so distressed with my sister and her health problems, I have felt I don't want to further put on her what will drain her or make her worry. But I did tell her about the anxiety. One thing I am careful to do is to not say "my" anything, but I struggle with such and so...this way I don't allow it to have any ownership over me. I belong to Jesus. He has ownership, not the anxiety or eating disorder. This helps me.

I am glad you are able to be with your daughter as she needs you right now and if she is letting you this is good for the both of you. I hope that her symptoms get better soon. This all takes time. God bless you.

brokenhearted
Bless you too sweet lady...

Bless you too sweet lady... I'm so glad you have some support... medical professionals and of course The Lord... I like your attitude about Who has ownership over you... you are such an insightful human being. I can see you helping others as a Christian counselor??!!
When I get angry at the ED and anxiety, I use this prayer:
Jesus- I take my stand in your victory against the enemy and his demons. I bring truth of God's word against the foe. You are faithful. You have conquered satan. He must flee. In Jesus' name. For some reason, it makes me feel better! I'm sure you have your collection of prayers and bible references!

iwanttolive
Hi!!!

I hope you had a nice day. I had the busiest day in over a month. And I didn't do much!!! As far as the perspective regarding the not giving the eating disorder ownership, I believe that came straight from God Himself. I pass it on to as many people as I can. I think it can be immensely helpful, even for those who do not believe in God.

I have been told that they see me speaking to thousands of people in some form or fashion. I want to help people but for now I am using this platform. As I still struggle with the eating and at times self harm urges, I need to have more "clean" time under my belt before I can officially do anything. The most I would do would be volunteering at a meeting or hotline of some sort. But that is a bit down the road.

I am glad you found a good prayer to pray and to talk with God regarding your situation. Faith can be so important. I don't know how I would have made it if it weren't for Jesus in my life. I struggle with prayer and reading my Bible but I know I belong to My Savior and nothing will change this. For that I am so grateful.

iwanttolive
wow take 3

So, this is my third time trying to write this out. Psalm 118:17 says "I will not die but live and declare the works of The Lord". I know this was from God as I lived decades wanting to die on a daily basis. I could not fathom another week let alone another year, or five or ten. Death was more appealing. But then I realized God wants me around for His glory. For me to share Him with other people. I no longer have this insatiable hunger for death. Thank You Jesus. I want to live. I want to have less struggles, but I am willing to have them if it means I am able to continue sharing Jesus with others. If it weren't for Him I wouldn't be alive. So this is a favorite.

Take care and keep in touch.

brokenhearted
Love it... thank you...

Love it... thank you...

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