National Eating Disorders Association

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My therapist wants me to try to take time to nurture myself and while I initially thought the assignment would be difficult I am finding it uniquely challenging. I have gone down a rabbit hole of overthinking the whole thing I am sure, but now I am nearly paralyzed in my efforts to self-nurture. Initially I thought I could just take a little time to do something for myself, but then I started telling myself that cleaning the kitchen, sweeping the house, etc were things that I was doing for myself. I ended up banning things that could be considered chores, but then I started thinking that journaling, reading about recovery, etc. would be appropriate. However, I don't actually think they are because while they do help me, they are definitely challenging and not something I would choose to do to relax and rejuvenate. I love to read so I thought maybe reading a book of my choice would work out, but then I started setting page goals which turns it more into a chore. I am just feeling entirely frustrated by the process now. Any thoughts?

I get it

I totally get it, because I've also received the "assignment" of self-care, is how my therapist and psychiatrist term it, and it's definitely challenging, because I've spent the majority of my life doing things for everyone else, and hardly anything that's simply for myself only. I had to start small and take the time to allow myself to play games on my phone, without beating myself up about it, also. Are there any hobbies you enjoy, like painting, playing a musical instrument, or doing a jigsaw puzzle, just to name a few? Those can be ways to nurture yourself. Also giving yourself time away from family and friends to explore nature, or your city, by taking a "me day," as I call it, can be another way. There's so many options; basically, find things that make you feel better about yourself, that don't involve taking care of others, or involve working. Even taking the time to have a bubble bath or get a massage can be a nice way to nurture yourself. I hope I've given you some ideas. Keep us posted, as to how things go.


Thank you! Your reply was helpful. I figured out how to determine if an activity is truly self-nurturing or if it's just me putting something like a "chore" in another guise... I need to feel like it's frivolous. I have a significant issue will allowing myself frivolous activities and that needs to be my barometer. Now that I have that part figured out, I need to actually do something frivolous. I have decided to live large and am trying to schedule a massage for next week!!!!

Good for you

Sounds like a good plan!! :)


I got that massage scheduled. It's for Friday after work, so I'll have something to look forward to all week.

That's great

I'm really proud of you!!! I'm glad you're doing something for yourself. After I no longer have pink eye, I'm getting out of the house, as I've quarenteened myself in the apartment since Wednesday, and getting myself my favorite sweet frozen treat from Ben and Jerrys.

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