National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
CASACERA

Hi. I often read your posts and am sorry for the relentless drive to eat that consumes you. I do hope you find peace with this. I do have a question for you. If you don't mind as it pertains to me. I am finding myself always focused on food, when I can get it, how even when I know I am not going to get it. I am even dreaming of food. I am not hungry. I am at a regular weight. I just started a PHP program but the focus is trauma but this does not exclude food and eating disorders. They have groups that we can choose to go to that we find to be helpful in addition to the trauma focused groups. But even after all these years, I am now just starting to dream of food and be more obsessed with getting it. I am overeating now that I have in a very long time. Just wondering if you have dealt with this and what you do about it.

Thanks
iwanttolive

CASACERA
thank you for your question

So much. And, your comments as well. I don't nor ever have dreamed of food. But "getting it"? Does wake me up in the morning. The world goes away when I'm preparing it and eating it. Love all good food and the whole process. Looking at it, even the smell and then the actual tasting, chewing and swallowing it. Pure pleasure, as I eat. Sometimes distracted with others, sometimes not. Sometimes eating out, sometimes not. I rarely get to the point of real hunger these days. Just feeling empty is enough. But I totally forget about food or eating when I'm engrossed in my music & art and even most company of others. Partly why I too am an average weight. Nice, yes but can't have that all the time. That's why the 24/7 instant responses from other women overeaters and weight strugglers worked for me. With this help (worked both ways) like your post. There were hundreds of women and so my conscious mature mind kept perspective and in charge. In answering your final question. Aside from "locking myself" away so to speak from food at weight loss centers, hotels, hospitals etc. There were only 2 times in my whole life where this desire has left. Both unique but one very sad and one very scared. Each about a year. I hope I'm not rambling too much. Has this helped at all? CC

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