National Eating Disorders Association

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oxred81
Sister doing 12 steps - forgiveness

Hi
My sister has had an eating disorder for years. she came out of a clinic two weeks ago. it was a clinic that treated eating disorders like an addiction, so started her along the 12 steps path used by AA and others. Today I think she must have got to a step about forgiveness as i got a message from her saying ' Today i decided to forgive you. not because you apologised or because you acknowledged the pain that you cased me, but because my soul deserves peace'.
I wasn't aware that she was feeling angry with me about anything. what do you recommend i do? it was a picture message from a calm app so I don't know what to do with it. It makes me angry tbh but I'm sure that's not a helpful response!
has anyone else's siblings gone through this?

BobJ48
"Forgiveness"

Oh brother, I can see where this might be confusing ! But things like this happen sometimes, when people find themselves considering various emotional themes. I'm not very familiar with 12 Step, but one of it's steps may involve the theme of forgiveness ? And if that's the case, then maybe you might find yourself needing someone or something to forgive ? Even if you hadn't really thought much about that before ?

Having said that, yes, it's not too emotionally considerate to forgive someone, without informing them what it is that you are forgiving them for. That sounds kind of passive-egressive to me. So in turn, you may need to forgive her for that ? Not that I would tell her that, but maybe you know what I mean. The whole thing must be kind of confusing I know.

If it were me, I would not get into it with her. This forgiveness thing is for her, and for a process of her own that she is going through, and there's probably something good to be said for that.

So if you feel that you need to provide a response, you might simply say that you are glad that she is finally finding resolution for old issues that she may had in the past ?

Which would be a truthful response, I suspect ?