National Eating Disorders Association

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eternal88
Let the healing begin

Good day and Blessings to all. I have been dealing with emotional bingeing and purging. I used to beat myself up mentally with shame and regret. Now I am educating myself on the seriousness of this unhealthy coping cycle. I ceased my bingeing and purging episodes for a year or so until recently. As my grandmothers dementia worsen, family cohesion crashing, anxiety increases, and for some reason I have the worst negative thinking that does not seem to come from my heart but it's very judgemental. I start to feel drained mentally and even physically at times. B/P does not make it better as a way of coping. It will only deteriorate the mind body and soul. I understand that i have to fix the root of this cycle to heal completely. Pain is okay. Suppression is not. Understand that there are deeper consequences than emotional regret. The physical damage can be life threatening. My body needs me to get a grip and extract this demon. My mind needs me to free it from chains of regret. My soul needs me to nourish it with peace. I need me to Love My Existence more. We all do. Now let your healing begin

iwanttolive
eternal88

Hi. I am sorry to hear of your grandmother's dementia. It is very difficult to watch someone we love suffer. You have a lot of good insight. Are you getting help with in dealing with your grandmother and how it is triggering the eating disorder? I hope you decide to get help because as you said, eating disorders are life threatening and you need to take care of yourself at the same time your grandmother is going through her health issues. I really hope you get support and help and do what you need to do to stop the as you said, the suppression, through old coping ways that are very harmful. Please take care.

iwanttolive

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