National Eating Disorders Association

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feeling like i'm going backwards in recovery

So I have had bulimia for almost 2 years now. I was seeing a therapist for a couple of months at my university and in my bad judgement i decided to take a semester off from getting any sort of professional help. So fast forward through an entire semester and a summer and things began to escalate very quickly. When i returned to school in the fall I knew i had to get help again because I was b/p multiple times per week and the food thoughts were RAMPANT. Well now that I have been seeing a therapist and nutritionist and actively trying to recover I feel as though my eating disorder has been actually getting worse. It's as if my brain is slowly rewiring and making my urges to binge so strong. I can't get through the day without thinking about food almost all hours of it. I recently opened up to my best friend and have been making steps to be more mindful and distract myself before I binge but overall i just feel like i'm making no progress. Does anyone have any strategies for maybe making my therapy sessions more beneficial? I'm just really frustrated because I feel like i have no willpower and recovery is so hard for me.

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