National Eating Disorders Association

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Not sure if I have a disorder or not

Hello all! I am 30 years old. I am starting to come to the realization that I may have an eating disorder that seems to be on and off again since the age of 14/15. When I was in high school I would restrict my food intake, and that was mostly because I didn’t want my parents to think something was up so I would starve myself all day at school and then eat dinner with them at home. I felt guilty if I ate during the day. I have always been self conscious about my weight and afraid of being overweight. I was a bit overweight in middle school. I have consistently always felt fat even though I know I am not. I feel horrible about myself after eating a lot and it affects my mood.

Over the years, I’ve tried diets and generally tried to eat healthy and exercise. I never overly exercised. I was never underweight or suffered any physical symptoms from not eating. I’ve always just been restrictive and only really completely not eating when I felt depressed or stressed from a situation.

Currently, I am pretty much doing the same thing I did in high school. I spend a lot of my day feeling hungry but feeling like I shouldn’t eat because I don’t want to gain weight. I spend a lot of time planning when I will eat. For instance, if I am going out to dinner or know there’s a holiday dinner, I will not eat for the whole day. When I don’t have an event involving food, I feel relieved and try to eat as little as possible. I don’t have issues eating “bad” food sometimes but I do start to feel bad if it’s too much in a week or if I already ate that day. I am not underweight and I haven’t really exercised in months. I don’t feel overly stressed. I do tend to feel bad about my body and am never satisfied with it. I have good days sometimes but it’s usually after I haven’t eaten a lot. I guess I’m just confused as to if there is something wrong with me or if this could be considered a disorder. I really don’t want to go get professional help because I can eat, I just don’t want to and I don’t want to be forced to.

Has anyone experienced anything like this and what did you do? Thank you so much for reading this and offering advice.

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are NOT defined by if you can eat. They're so many different types of eating disorders. I cannot diagnose you as I am not a professional. I think a great place to start is to ask your doctor, or if you have one a therapist, or any other professional. Everyone deserves to have a relationship with food that is not fueled by guilt and self-hate. Keep me updated, I would love to hear how I can help support you. Sending love and support.


I would consider using the

I would consider using the NEDA screening tool, but I think it may be a good idea to seek help. If you have irregular food behaviors, or are resticting yourself to influence your weight, it definetly points to an ED. Thank you for being brave enough to post, I hope things get better.

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