National Eating Disorders Association

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kulyeon
triggers

hi, i’m new here so i’m not sure if this is the right forum to post this on, sorry if it’s not. i came to express my concerns and how to deal with it. im currently dealing with anorexia, but my friend keeps talking to me about losing weight, how little to eat and having bad body image and i’m not sure what to do, since everytime she mentions these things i seem to relapse into a restrictive cycle. any ideas on what i should do ? i’m having problems confronting her, and dropping her isn’t an option by now. thank you.

_admin_moderator
Welcome!

Hi, thank you for posting! We hope that you are able to get the support you deserve here on the forums as it seems like you're going through a tough situation. When you get the chance, please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines.Here is information on relapse: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/recovery. Here is information on how to express your concerns: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/sharing-concerns-about-your-eating-behaviorsIf you’re looking for resources, please feel free to contact the Helpline at (800) 931-2237. The Helpline is open Mondays-Thursdays 9AM-9PM EST and Fridays 9AM-5PM EST. During these hours you can chat with us also by clicking the chat now option at the top right hand corner!  Please continue posting!

lovetowrite81
Kulyeon

Hi Kulyeon-

Welcome to the forums! We're glad that you are here and posted. That must be extremely difficult and triggering to have your friend continuing to discuss these topics. Does she know of your struggles with anorexia? Have you been able to talk with her about how her comments effect you or if not, what are some barriers preventing this conversation? I hope to hear back from you and hear more about your situation and how we can support you, and that you keep us updated on how you're doing <3

kulyeon
hi lovetowrite81,

hi lovetowrite81,

thank you for your reply, just that makes me feel safer. for your questions, we are fairly close so I did tell her my struggles with anorexia. I feel burdened to confront her about her comments because I know we confide in each other, it makes me afraid she’ll dislike me because I can share what I want, but she can’t. once again, thanks for you reply. <3

Lizuli26
Well done for telling her about your eating disorder!

That takes a lot of bravery...
It’s so common to struggle with this- don’t think if it as confronting her; think of it as setting boundaries. She’s not really confiding in you so much as triggering you, and it probably won’t help her much either. Maybe just say “you are really important to me, and I love talking to you, but I cannot talk about diet and body image without damaging my health.”
She may need some reminding- just “remember what I said...”, and if you feel you can leave the room, go for it!
You can always get a family member or another friend to have your back? My mum talked to one of her friends about some magazines she kept in her living room that I really struggled to be around, and she just moved them somewhere else because she liked having me around.
Do you have some body positivity/anti-diet resources you can share with her that have helped in your recovery? That would probably be a lot better for her as well...
Good luck, and share any strategies you come up with!