National Eating Disorders Association

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dianneesmuytriste
Confessions

Things I'm starting to think aren't normal: 1. my mom gives every girl in our family one small bowl of food the size of a hand. The boys got to eat as much as they wanted. 2. Since before I could remember my mom has been putting laxatives and fiber supplements in my sisters and I's drinks and food. 3. My mom throws up frequently after she eats. She says its because it gets caught in her throat. 4. My mom told me my dad is going to leave her because shes fat. 5. My mom not sure what I wanted to get out of posting this, I have never talked to anyone about it but i felt so much better after my first post I just want to keep thinking out loud. Its nice to have someone else knowing whats going on in my head. I think about my mom a lot when I look like im starting to gain weight and I usually panic and stop eating to prove to her I am not out of control. Even if we don't even live together anymore. I'm not going to get overweight, she can approve of me in at least one way.

alwaysthinking
Therapist

Do you see a therapist? This sounds like stuff that really would be helpful to discuss and process with a therapist. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, because that definitely was not a healthy lifestyle. I hope you can get some peace and support. Hang in there.

Dianneesmuytriste
Therapist

I tried but I hated the way she looked at me. Her face got all scrunchy and she kept apologizing to me and I don’t want or need her pity. I just need to know how to get over it and move on.

alwaysthinking
Keep trying

Sounds like she wasn't the best person for you. There's a right fit out there somewhere. You deserve to get help and to find someone who can help you get past it in the way you need and want to. Hang in there.

HeroCat
therapist continued

I would definitely look around and try to find someone else who is the right fit for you. You are right, you don't want pity, but you do want to try to resolve this. It can take a bit of work to find the right therapist, but once you do it will be worth it!

Dianneesmuytriste
Yeet

I can only afford one place in town and they said they would co tact me if anyone else became available. I’ve been dealing with this for years just fine. I’ll be fine. I just want to be more honest about myself. I feel like I spend so much time pretending it’s nice to be able to just be me.