National Eating Disorders Association

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Tmfb980517
Not on the same page

My husband doesn’t offer my daughter breakfast because it will be a fight and he doesn’t want her to go to school mad. I don’t know how to feel about this. I don’t want that either but I typically have snacks for her to eat in the car or at home if she has time. He’s been doing morning routine because he’s off this week. We are parenting differently across the board. He hasn’t reached out to talk to anyone about her eating disorder, I’ve asked him to. It’s all me. Finding counsel, I’ve looked for a support group for us....I’m feeling very alone in it. I have had multiple conversations about things counselors tell me, etc. he nods. This is already a problem in our marriage so I guess I expect it. We’re not separated at this point but will be. Im concerned with the mixed parenting, non-communication on his part. I only know absolutely anything when I ask. Also, am I supposed to be offering her a snack in the morning? I am not in a good spot in many places but right now I’m focusing on my daughter & getting her the help she needs for anorexia, depression, etc. and for myself as well.

_admin_moderator
Welcome!

Hi. Thank you for posting. We’re sorry to hear about what’s going on with your daughter! We hope that you’re able to get the support you deserve here on the forums! When you get the chance, please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelinesIf you’re looking for resources, please feel free to contact the Helpline at (800) 931-2237. The Helpline is open Mondays-Thursdays 9AM-9PM EST and Fridays 9AM-5PM EST. During these hours you can chat with us also by clicking the chat now option at the top right hand corner! Please continue posting! 

BobJ48
Hey Tmfb - Mixed parenting.

Oh boy, what a mess. Your daughter's issues, and the ones with your husband too. Anyone might feel overwhelmed.

And really, here may be two similar problems going on. Your daughter may be convicted about confronting her ED, and your husband doesn't seem to want to confront it either. And yet it's this really serious issue.

And what, do they think that you are somehow making a bigger deal out of it than you should ? It's true : Just as a matter of human nature, no one want's there to be "a problem" but that kind of thinking doesn't help things too much.

So yes, it sounds like a big mess alright, and you have every right to feel distressed. If you are getting help for your daughter, and help for yourself, that actually is something, and really does show a responsible outlook. So if you start feeling crazy, and like somehow you are not doing enough, I do hope you can reflect on that part.

And that you'll feel OK about continuing to post here, whenever you feel like venting.

BobJ