Bingeing and Extreme Hunger

For the past two-three weeks I have been battling extreme hunger. I have struggled with anorexia nervosa for half a year or so and I have been through episodes of extreme hunger before (about beginning of May/end of June of this year) but I've never experienced being at an average caloric surplus over a whole week - let alone two weeks straight. I feel stuck in a limbo of pseudo-recovery because I want to get rid of this illness but I'm deathly scared of fat gain which is what's holding me back from honouring my hunger and thus leads to bigger "binges" the next day. I'm very scared that I am developing binge eating disorder, but I do feel physically hungry so I'm very confused. Do people with BED experience real physical hunger or are bingeing episodes for them more like uncontrollable compulsions? I usually find that I can make decisions as to what I will or won't eat (e.g. put something back in the fridge/pantry instead of eating it) during a binge, and I don't really experience any kind of "blacking out" when I eat excessively. I also have body dysmorphia and I have noticed that some parts of my body (under my jaw/chin especially) have gotten bigger but I can't tell if it's water retention or actual fat. I don't have anyone in my life to put me even a little at ease so I feel trapped and unable to cope with the violent cycles of restricting, getting extremely hungry, and bingeing. Overeating also triggers my depression and so I lose the motivation to get work done and to compensate for the food I ate through exercise like I normally would have (the latter may be a good thing, I suppose). I'm not sure whether I even articulated anything at all with this but I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm just endlessly expanding and I'll never stop eating because I'll never not feel hungry. Thoughts?