National Eating Disorders Association

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caaarrrrrllll
I relapsed and I feel so upset with myself

So, last year around this time, I began b/p although I dont think they were full on binges. I didnt have those all consuming, mind goes blank episodes, but I still purged on occasion. This probably only lasted a couple months and not regularly. I soon realized how bad this was and was able to stop on my own. But in the past week, I completely relapsed and started purging again. Now though, it does feel like the all or nothing mindset where I'll start eating something and just say f*** it and keep going because I know I'll purge. I've just started a grad program, so I know it's probably from stress. Im tired of this. How do I get myself out of this cycle?

_admin_moderator
caaarrrrrllll

Hi caaarrrrrllll, thanks for posting! We’re sorry to hear you’ve been struggling but are glad you reached out to the forums. The NEDA Helpline may be able to help out with finding resources for approaching your concerns about relapse. The Helpline can be reached at 800.931.2237, or chat with them online (http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/helplinechat) M-TH 9-9 EST and F 9-5 EST. Hope you find support, stay strong! 

lovetowrite81
Carl

Welcome to the forums.

I'm so sorry you are struggling again- unfortunately it is not abnormal to feel like behaviors have been dormant for a while, only to have them re-emerge in times of increased stress. I was just wondering what your thoughts were about seeking support or if you are connected with a therapist/mental health professional? I know for me, going to my university's counseling center and processing through what was driving the disordered behaviors was key. As much as I would try harder to stop behaviors on my own, it wasn't until I got under the surface and worked through the deeper issues that I was able to reach stable recovery.

I hope to hear from you again soon & that you continue keep us updated on your journey, and know that you always have support and people who understand here. You are not alone <3

HeroCat
I would recommend going to

I would recommend going to see someone asap. DON'T WAIT. The longer you let it happen without intervention, the more likely it will become something that becomes a part of your life. I know because that is what happened to me.

Savedbygrace
I agree

It's next to impossible to go it alone. You matter. Please get help and keep us posted.