National Eating Disorders Association

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Lillian4516
Scared

Hi everyone. This is my first post and I’m so glad I found this group. I’ve been in recovery for more than 10 years, and just recently have started slipping back into restricting. My therapist mentioned IOP and it shocked me to my core, as I feel like I’m not that sick and don’t need something that extreme.

I’m realizing that in my recovery, I was able to change my behaviors, but never really dealt with the thoughts and beliefs that drove the ED. I’m hoping to do this with my current therapist, but I really don’t want to go down the IOP/residential treatment path (I’ve done both in my past).

I don’t want to be stubborn, but I also don’t want to go to the extreme and believe that I’m in relapse with just a short period of restricting. Can anyone relate, or have some advise?

Blue44
Lillian4516

Welcome! Sorry to hear that you are struggling. I am glad that you reached out to the forum. I can relate to not thinking that I was sick enough for the treatment that my doctors recommended. I would suggest that you consider their advice though. I hope that you continue posting and good luck with everything.

Lillian4516
Blue44

Thank you so much. I’m really trying to shut down the ED voices in my brain and encourage the recovery voices to speak louder. They fight with each other a lot, lol! I know I need wisdom from others who can see me more clearly than I can see myself right now.

ape130
I SO relate to feeling like

I SO relate to feeling like you're not sick enough for such and such treatment because you've only been doing behaviors a short time. But if you're anything like me, you spiral fast and your treatment team wants to get a hold of things sooner rather than later when you'd need more intensive care. Also I've learned that when I'm in ED mode, I can't trust myself or how I feel and I need to instead believe and trust my therapist and dietitian. They see this a lot, they know what they're doing, they care. How are you doing now?

Lillian4516
Thank you

Thanks so much for asking. I still feel in a weird place. I started seeing my therapist for anxiety and depression, and the ED patterns started coming up after we’d met for a few times. I don’t currently have a dietitian, and I really don’t want one even though I know that’s probably what I need. It’s hard because technically I do need to lose weight for my health, but trying to do it without falling back into the ED cycle is so difficult.