National Eating Disorders Association

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theofiinch
losing weight anxiety

hi. my name is theo. i'm 16 years old and have been in recovery for four months or so. it's terrifying and i hate it. for awhile i was very much anti-recovery, but i'm not anymore. now i'm super super pro-recovery and i'm glad i'm finally getting help, but it's so so scary to have to deal with. i have weekly appointments with my eating therapist and monthly appointments with my doctor, but every time i have to get weighed i have a panic attack. and not about gaining weight. i'm super fine with that and i'm GLAD i'm gaining again, but it's always about losing weight. i'm TERRIFIED of losing weight. i know it's kinda stupid, but it's one of my biggest nightmares. if i find out i lose weight i cry and freak out. my mom said it's nothing to be worried about, but it feels So Bad. is this normal?

butterflying
Hi Theofinch

First off, I just wanted to welcome you to the forums, but more importantly, congratulate you on the change in mindset and wanting to recover for yourself!!! When I was first going through treatment, I struggled with encountering new things and figuring out why I engaged in certain behaviors. But I learned that it was necessary for me in my recovery process to learn how to cope in new, healthy ways. And I promise it's not a stupid thing to say that you're scared of losing weight, I'm the same way. It seems like you're at a point now where you can look back and want to push forward in you recovery process, and that means to not lose weight, and that's honestly absolutely amazing and I just wanted to say I'm proud of you!
When I realize that's happening to me, it does concern me a lot and causes me to worry about it more than I would like. It's like I don't want that to happen because I've worked so hard to get the body I have now and I don't want to lose it.
I'm here for you, well the whole forum in general is here for you because we're like a big family here. Keep in touch. <3

SmashThePatriarchy
It's normal!

Hi Theo - I think everything you're feeling is so super normal. Recovery is amazing and terrifying and joyous and frustrating - definitely not black and white. At times in my recovery, it was helpful for me to remember that weight can (and will) fluctuate - and that figuring out how to cope with those uncomfortable feelings, anxieties, and fears surrounding my weight was as important as relearning non-disordered eating. Recovery is full of highs and lows, but you cannot lose or erase all the work you've already done. I'm totally with butterflying - you're amazing and I'm proud of you, too. Thinking of you and we're here for you! <3 STP

Elvira
Normal

I want to reiterate what SmashthePatriarchy said: weight fluctuates. Sometimes the body will hold onto water, air, food, etc and it causes you to weight more. The next day your body might have let go of all that and it can make you weigh less. If you can (and I know it’s hard) focus on the weight trends instead of individual weigh ins.
For me, it helps to not see my weigh in. It just produced all this unneeded anxiety. Maybe that could help.
Wishing you all the best!