National Eating Disorders Association

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Ladysen02
Mistake to admit?

I am having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around my daughter being admitted to residential. She came to us one night amd said she needed help and showed us that she had started cutting. We noticed this summer that she seemed to be thinner but weren't too alarmed since she was so active this summer. End of August, she passed out on the toilet and admitted to her therapist that she had been restricting for a while. We contacted the recommended facility who had her doctor order tests. They determined she needed residential treatment. She dropped a significant amount of weight in a short time. Her problems up to this point had seemed centered around anxiety and stress from issues in her life.

Now she's been in the facility for 3 weeks, it seems she is worse. I am so worried that i made the wrong choice and that she is learning more bad things than healing. My academic head says she needs to be there but my emotional brain wants to take her home.

Has anyone had these worries? Did we admit her too soon? Am I making her worse by being admitting her?

_admin_moderator
Edited post

Hi Ladysen02, your post has been edited to comply with NEDA’s community guidelines https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines. Numbers may be triggering for others and are not allowed on the forums. Please take a moment to review the guidelines and thank you for helping us keep this a safe space for everyone! The NEDA Helpline may be able to help out with your concerns about residential treatment for your daughter. The Helpline can be reached at 800.931.2237 M-TH 9-9 EST and F 9-5 EST. We hope it can be of help to you. We are also providing you with resources to pass along since you mentioned self harm:  

Please take care!

butterflying
Hi Ladysen02

I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter had to go into residential and the fact she is dealing with this disorder, but at the moment I'm very sorry that you have to go through this too.. Coming from a daughter's standpoint, my mom knew about what I was dealing with and wanted to get me help, but knew there was nothing to do until I came to her asking for help. When I reached that point, I was at the lowest point of my life and needed the help from my mom and I think your daughter needed your help that night, she might not have been at her lowest then, but that was just for me. My mom had no idea what to do but to seek professional help and she had to make the choice of sending me into an inpatient facility. She has told me before how the night after she said yes to the treatment, she just cried and cried because I was going to be out of her care and she felt defeated for a moment. But if I didn't come to her at that moment asking her for help, or if she didn't decide on getting me the help I needed, I might not be here today. I always say everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we just need to trust our gut and go through with the plan and be grateful for the opportunities we have. My first step was coming to my mom then I got professional help, it was definitely hard at times, but recovery is going to have its ups and downs, but every step is worth it.
I wish you and your daughter the best, please keep in touch. <3

butterflying
Hi Ladysen02

I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter had to go into residential and the fact she is dealing with this disorder, but at the moment I'm very sorry that you have to go through this too.. Coming from a daughter's standpoint, my mom knew about what I was dealing with and wanted to get me help, but knew there was nothing to do until I came to her asking for help. When I reached that point, I was at the lowest point of my life and needed the help from my mom and I think your daughter needed your help that night, she might not have been at her lowest then, but that was just for me. My mom had no idea what to do but to seek professional help and she had to make the choice of sending me into an inpatient facility. She has told me before how the night after she said yes to the treatment, she just cried and cried because I was going to be out of her care and she felt defeated for a moment. But if I didn't come to her at that moment asking her for help, or if she didn't decide on getting me the help I needed, I might not be here today. I always say everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we just need to trust our gut and go through with the plan and be grateful for the opportunities we have. My first step was coming to my mom then I got professional help, it was definitely hard at times, but recovery is going to have its ups and downs, but every step is worth it.
I wish you and your daughter the best, please keep in touch. <3