National Eating Disorders Association

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the truth

I seem to be pretty alone in loving eating and food here, although BED is an excepted and painful eating disorder. Once I start my brain switches to a different place and I feel almost detached. Actually I've mentioned that I realize it's way before I eat. It wakes me up in the AM, can't wait to have the same almost mundane but healthy and delicious breakfast. The thing is I get distracted and don't think about food at all until lunchtime, then I become this crazy food addict person, once again. This has been a lifetime of this and in so many ways an exciting and interesting Except for this. Which never leaves. Therapy, hospitals every sensible program and treatment. Nada.
Just had to say this. CC

still here for you

i've been there, to an extent, so i do understand what you mean. there have been times when the cravings for food were so overwhelming that it was ridiculous. i'm sorry if you feel alone on this forum. others do have BED though, and have voiced their feelings about it, too. and those of us who struggle to eat still understand the fight with food, even if it's in a different vein. i just hope you can see yourself as more than your eating disorder, because even though we've never met face-to-face, i see you, and only you - a spunky, funny person with a lot of wisdom and love. try to find that in yourself, too and stop seeing yourself as just your BED. hugs.

Trying to describe the feeling

If for whatever reason you were sweating etc. and could not take a shower for a length of time, could you forget it? Be around others, be comfortable in your own skin? When I've been heavier and/or struggled with my food addiction it has stopped me from achieving so much that I aspire to, want to do and accomplish. It's not blame etc. but the taking away of self confidence and getting "out of myself" and avoiding social situations etc. I've achieved much in spite of this but the toll it takes is enormous, for I have to cover this up. Remember most of the time I look pretty normal, could lose a few of course but not so it's a health problem or anything. Thank you so much ATK for the compliments and seeing these fine things in me. Other's actually have as well, they just don't know how much I struggle and suffer with this. I'm doing something I DON'T WANT TO DO WHEN I OVEREAT. i'M HURTING MYSELF. You've talked about "trauma. I relate and have to say there is no other area of my life that I will continue to do something destructive when it's bad for me (or those close to me as well). thank you again for your caring encouragement. CC