National Eating Disorders Association

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kmcsherry
I feel like my ED will be a never-ending struggle and I don't know if I can take it

One of the hardest things for me is imagining what people would think of me having an ED. I feel like i look average in weight, and i'm not saying this because I have an ED. I look at girls all the time and they are so much skinnier than me. And then I think to myself, if i was to stand next to a bunch of thin girls, I would be the last guess for "who's anorexic?." I feel like some of my friends don't even think my ED is that serious, like i don't have MAJOR mental issues. At school I do my best not to show it and out in public. But at home, it's a whole different story. I scream at my parents and siblings, cursing, crying, and screaming. I just feel like this will be a never ending struggle. I feel like I'll never feel confident and I'll always resent myself. I'm so exhausted. It's been 2 years, and I've ben on a meal plan for a year and a half of it with an Eating Disorder program.I feel like I have no control and my life is not my life. I just can't imagine how I can keep doing this, and waking up everyday to a battle. Is anyone else feeling this way, and or they felt this way in the past. I never really thought about blogging about my feelings, but I need help.

tryingtobebrave
Hi

I just want to tell you that I’m here for you. I didn’t get help for my ED until I was in my 20s, but I still relate a lot to what you’re saying in terms of it feeling like it’s never ending, and people assuming the ed isn’t a big deal because you’re at an average weight. Earlier in my recovery I experienced those feelings a lot. After a lot of therapy it started getting better. It can be frustrating when you’ve already been fighting for so long, but hang in there. I wish I had better advise to give other than to keep fighting and give it time, but I want you to know you’re not alone.

_admin_moderator
Resources

Hello. You mention some concerning feelings so for precaution we just wanted to post some resources in case you would like to reach out to one of them for support.  

Please take care!