National Eating Disorders Association

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Blue44
Having a difficult time

I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to your posts the last few days. I’m having a really difficult time. The job hunt has so far been unsuccessful. I’m still very worried about my husband’s job. It’s not any security in his job. So he is also looking for a job. My anxiety has been really bad. My psychiatrist gave me a new prescription but I’m nervous about getting it filled because I might abuse the medicine especially if it were to make me drowsy. I spend a lot of time sleeping or thinking about how to escape. Life is very hard right now. I’m also taking my frustration out on food by restricting some. Thanks for reading this. I really needed to vent.

alwaysthinking
sorry

here for you. don't really know what to say, except i read it, and i'm sorry. i support you.

butterflying
Hey Blue44, I'm sorry to hear

Hey Blue44, I'm sorry to hear that your job hunt hasn't been successful yet and that your husband is also looking for a new job. That sounds to be really hard to have to deal with, trying to find a job for yourself while worrying for your husband. The anxiety is totally reasonable for your situation right now. Maybe the new medicine will help your feelings through this tough time. But I hear that you're concerned about abusing it to make yourself feel drowsy. One thing that helped me in the past from staying on a schedule with my medications and keeping me from taking too many or too less was the weekly pill capsule containers.
Keep in touch. <3

tryingtobebrave
I’m sorry

I’m sorry you’re struggling with the job hunt as well as the anxiety from being worried about your husbands job. Try to be forgiving to yourself about struggling with eating right now because it sounds like a really stressful time. Each day is a chance to reset with recovery and slip ups are normal. I totally understand your worry about taking too much of the medication. I use a weekly medication box for the rest of my meds, but ask my mom to keep my anxiety medication in a lock box and have her give me one if I genuinely need it, and since I’m only allowed a certain amount, I know I have to save it for when I truly need it. As a recovering addict, it would be so easy and there’s definitely times where I want to take more than necessary. It’s a bit of a pain but necessary for me.

Blue44
Thanks

I appreciate the comments and suggestions.
I’m feeling very depressed today. I hate myself and want to disappear

tryingtobebrave
I’m sorry you’re feeling so

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low today. Depression is cruel. It’s a liar and a thief, and it makes you believe messed up things about yourself that aren’t true. I get the self hatred when mine is bad too. I wish I had advice to offer but I just want you to know I hear you and I care about you.

_admin_moderator
Resources

Dear Blue44, we’re glad you reached out to the forums. Since you mentioned some concerning feelings we wanted to post some resources in case you need support through these thoughts. 

 Please take care.

lovetowrite81
Blue44

Hi Blue44--

Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing this week? I'm so sorry to hear you have been struggling. I am currently job hunting as well and know how stressful and anxiety producing that is. Just know that we are here for you- I hope that you continue posting and venting as much as you need to <3

Blue44
Thanks for asking lovetowrite81

I am doing about the same. My husband and I are still both looking for jobs. My husband has had some interviews and I have one Monday but it is only for seasonal work. I am really nervous about my husband changing jobs and how it will effect our health insurance. I didn’t go to my therapist this week to save money. I really missed seeing her though. It helps to be able to vent to her I am thankful for this forum though. I guess I haven’t been posting in the past few days because I have been feeling so depressed. Eating is still difficult especially when I am by myself but most of the time I do ok with meal plan stuff. I’ve had a stress headache the last two days. Hopefully things will improve soon. Thanks again for asking. Good luck to you livetowrite81 in your job search.

lovetowrite81
Blue44

Hi Blue44-

I could definitely understand the anxiety around health insurance. I'm sorry that the depression has been rough this week and that you weren't able to see your therapist. I hope your headache improves and you feel better mentally soon as well- even if it's rough right now, it does get better <3 You're not alone. Hang in there and know that we're here for you.