National Eating Disorders Association

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alwaysthinking
i'm here

here at the inpatient unit. it's different from my last inpatient stay, and i don't really know how often i'll be able to check in on here, because of the rules and time schedule. i was 100% for lunch today, and it was so hard. my nerves are shot. i'm so full and dealing with a lot of emotions right now. i know it's what's best for me, but it feels like too much, too soon. i am trying to remind myself of the end goal - getting back to my ministry and helping other people. and my upcoming vacation. just do my best, i know.

Savedbygrace
Happy for you

I'm greatful you were able to get into a treatment center. I'll look forward to hearing updates. You got this.

alwaysthinking
still scared

but i'll try my best. already had my first experience with the refeeding tummy. i knew what to expect and it still freaked me out. did too much too fast. baby steps today

lovetowrite81
Alwaysthinking

I know it's so tough but you are doing it! I am so glad you are getting the support you need. I like what you said about focusing on the end goal and how recovery will be so important for you living out your goals <3 You got this! Thinking of you.

TimeToShine
Good luck and keep staying

Good luck and keep staying strong :)

CASACERA
wish I could be of help

without specifics, are there certain foods more acceptable than others? (yes or no, o.k.) Do you feel comfortable talking about your specific fears concerning food? (yes or no o.k. again) I did when I was in the hospital for 5 weeks and it was not only helpful to me but to others. It's that thing of keeping a secret. Maybe that's why I entitled my poem that i posted here. "The Secret". Should I, can I re-post it? Might help somebody. CC

alwaysthinking
food

can be scary just because it's food. but today, i had a really great group therapy session, because a fellow patient said something that really resonated with me. she's been in and out of hospitals, like i have but not nearly as many as i for psych reasons, and she said she's done with all of it. she has a life she wants to lead and refuses to let anything get in the way anymore. she was letting the eating disorder and other psychiatric issues be her "comfort" zone and got accustomed to them and finally was able to say enough is enough. I say the same. I'm done with it all. no more. i have too much life to live, too many people i need to help and teach about Jehovah God and about a beautiful future in store. i don't have time to waste in a hospital anymore. i needed to give myself some tough love, and it helped, because i was able to do 100% for supper, and i'm not even anxious about it. and i figure, if i do get anxious, i'll deal with it, because Jehovah will help me with it. and CC, i would love to reread "the Secret." please repost it.