National Eating Disorders Association

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TimeToShine
Day three

Ok so i’m really scared. I have a doctors appointment today and this is the only chance i get to tell someone about my anorexia. I know i’m too scared to say anything and I know i’m throwing out a chance for help, but i’m not ready. My mom is going to be in there with me so even if I wanted to say something, she would be there to say i’m ok and shoot me down. On a more positive note, there is this guy at my swimming and not going to lie, he’s been making me feel so much better and I think I might have feelings. Sorry, I needed to get that out haha. Possibly a new support??? I’ve told him the things my mother said to me and he goes through the exact same thing. Just I doubt he is suicidal or anorexic. Anyways, I’ll give an update later on how i’m doing. Yesterday was really rough, so i’m hoping today is better and as you can tell, i’m feeling happy compared to yesterday. I hope everyone has a positive and good day!

TimeToShine

alwaysthinking
Maybe

Maybe when you see your doctor, you can ask if you can talk to him or her alone for a while and then you can talk to that person about your anorexia without your mom being able to shoot you down.

TimeToShine
update

So I went. The doctor wants a blood test and I hate shots, so i immediately started to cry, oops. I didnt tell my doctor, but when she sees my blood test, maybe it will show her? i dont know. I know i’m an idiot for not saying anything even when there was a question asking if I had it, and I lied for two questions- if I have thought of suicide and if I have anorexia/bulimia. My mom wanted to read all my answers so I had to lie. quote on quote ‘There is nothing wrong with you. So dont give them a reason to think that.’ So. She took my BMI and its pretty low. So yeah.

_admin_moderator
Resources

Hi, TimetoShine. We just wanted to provide you with some resources since you mentioned some concerning feelings. 

Please take care! 

s.boewer
Sorry

Hi- I am really very sorry that your Mother doesn't take your anorexia seriously, and can only imagine how difficult it must be to have her shoot you down rather than protect and nurture you as most Mothers would do. I hope you are able to recognize your Mom's lack of appropriate concern is her problem, and not a result of anything flawed in you or something you could have caused in her. I know how scary it is to contemplate finlly getting help for anorexia and that letting go of unhealthy behaviors creates a lot of fear and anxiety to surface, but it sounds like you know deep down that it is time to get some help in place. Is there a way to speak honestly and privately with your doctor at your next visit so that your Mom doesn't continue to disrupt your chances at healing? Or do you have a coach or school counselor, if you're in school, that might be able to offer you the necessary support for starting to treat your disorder? It sounds like this guy you've met at the swimming pool is giving you some incentive to get healthy, which is a good thing in my opinion. I hope he turns out to be a safe person to talk with as you need people around you who do not undermine your attempts to get well and allow you to be honest about yourself. Hopefully, your bloodwork will reveal anything urgently requiring medical intervention at least, and keep reaching out for support wherever it's available, you deserve it.