National Eating Disorders Association

5 posts / 0 new
Last post

I've been at constant battle in my head this last week with Ed. I feel like this lapse or relapse started because of minor things but progressed so quickly. I know I can't continue like this long term, but it's always, "I'll deal with it tomorrow, right now it's making my anxiety go away." WHy do negative coping skills work so much quicker? How do you discover a "why" for recovery when Ed is constantly in your head saying that "those consequences to your health aren't going to be an issue right now?"

I have the same thing too. My

I have the same thing too. My anxiety some times gets to the best of me, trust me. Too many times I pushed away from help because of it. I'm trying to get better, not letting the anxiety follow along with my recovery.


In my experience the negative coping skills are kinda like drugs. You build tolerance fast, and eventually they just don't work. The positive coping skills, are more effective because they will work in the long term. They just take practice. It's like learning a sport, once you get it, it can be fun. But the process to learned it can be grueling. Personally, I think it's the mindset around coping skills. You THINK that negative coping skills work, but if you think about it's rational. Such as the consequences and what not, you realize its not what its all cracked up to be. My favorite coping skill is re framing my thoughts. My favorite is to ask, "How will this negative behavior solve my problems? Will it make the issue go away?" A good example is a toddler. If a toddler doesn't get what they want maybe they will cope by screaming and crying. Looking at the toddler I would ask myself: Is crying and screaming going to solve that child's issue? How is screaming and crying helping that child take action to solve their issue?



I've heard of reframing

I've heard of reframing thoughts in therapy before. My therapist at the center used it from time to time. We were taught in treatment that positive coping skills don't make the situation better, they just stop it from getting worse. Which is hard to take in when I know a negative one will make it go away and quick. You are right about it only working short term though, and that's something i need to get my head wrapped around.

something I've learned

something that I've been taught in therapy is that some things that we think might be negative or stupid coping skills, are actually allowable. my mother used to never let me have comfort items or get my way with certain "compulsions", but my therapist has a "so what" mentality. for example, I always wear a scrunchie on my wrist for comfort, and said "its bad because what if I freak out because I dont have one", and she said "no, it doesn't interfere with anything, and just keep extras around". so i guess im trying to say that its okay to find coping mechanisms that may seem silly if they replace bad coping skills

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.