National Eating Disorders Association

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tryingtobebrave
Went to surgical consult

Overall it went okay I guess. Could have gone better, could have gone worse. I liked the surgeon. I liked that he wasn’t arrogant and was respectful and patient. My fears of him not doing it were relieved, he said it definitely would be considered medically necessary. However, the downside is the hospital he does the surgery at doesn’t take my insurance. But he said since no one in my area does that surgery at the hospital my insurance covers, he will start an authorization thing and they don’t have a choice. It will be a fight with the insurance but he’s fairly confident the outcome will be in my favor. His office is doing that for me. Once I get the first rejection letter, I can call the insurance and hit them from my side too. But until then, I just have to trust him to do what’s necessary and I’m not gonna think about it because there’s nothing I can do for now. The worst part of the visit was he said there’s nothing I can do for the pain until surgery in March. I was terrified for a second that I was going to cry when he said that. I know I’ve gone a year in agonizing pain already so I can survive nine more months of it. But I was actually hopeful that there was something to help in the meantime. And now I’m feeling a little sorry for myself which I’m ashamed about. I’m just tired of even being awake and getting out of bed in this much pain everyday. I can barely function well at all, sometimes it’s like what’s the point.
Anyway. Enough of that right??? I will be staying at the house alone for a few days starting tomorrow and I’m looking forward to it. I have this fantasy that if I leave my life behind (my parents - mainly my dad) I will be able to leave my past behind and not be affected by my trauma anymore. But I’m aware that’s not real. Probably the next two days will prove it when I don’t miraculously stop having ptsd with them being out of town. I’m rambling now, sorry. Just needed to unload about that appointment.

alwaysthinking
Congrats

Well I'm glad that you got some definite news about the appointment. I'm sorry you have to wait until March to get any relief however. That seems a bit excessive. You're sure they can't do anything before then? at least the doctor is willing to go to bat for you with the insurance covering the bill. Sounds like you definitely a good doctor to have in your corner. As for the two days of freedom, I'm glad that you are looking at the Way You Are it doesn't hurt to have little fantasies from time to time I do it all the time. As long as we know what reality is. So best wishes and I'll keep you in my prayers. Thanks for the update